Of Wind and Fire
by taintedxwings
Summary: Discontinued. Please skip to chapter 8. Rewritten as Home.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Of Wind and Fire

**Disclaimer:** I do NOT own Naruto nor any characters associated with it. Ami isn't mine either. She's a minor character from Naruto whom I have chosen to add into my story but with a different relation to the characters from the anime/manga.

**Edit:** I fixed the birthdays and the 'unknown' info for the profiles. It would be awkward if the council doesn't know everything about their shinobi.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

* * *

_**Uzumaki Naruto**__- Genin at four, Chunin at five, Jonin at six, Anbu at seven. Status is classified. _

_**Team: **__Nicknamed "Psychotic Trio" - Member with Morino Ibiki, Mitarashi Anko _

_**Mission status: **__15 D rank, 8 C rank, 62 B rank, 25 A rank, and 10 S-rank. _

_**Specialized fields: **__Interrogation - using hypnosis, Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, Seal making, Assassination, mastered wind and fire affinity - can perform without seals for techniques involving these two elements _

_**Current Age: **__16_

_**Birthday: **__October 10_

_**Parents/Relatives: **__Deceased_

_**Height: **5'_

_**Weight: **99__lbs_

_**Distinguishing Features: **__Lilac eyes, Blood red highlights in shoulder-length golden blonde hair that's always in a ponytail, three hoop earrings in the lobe of the left ear, one hoop in the cartilage of the left ear, a skull ear thread earring in right lobe, effeminate structure, pout-y pink lips, have a natural light tan, slightly elongated black manicured nails_

_**Likes: **__Going on missions, lollipops, annoying people, interrogating, __burning things _

_**Dislikes: **__Annoying people, stupid missions_

_**Hobbies: **__Hanging out with friends at the SCB (Shinobi Café and Bar), burning things, going on missions, training, creating new jutsu, interrogating people, insulting people_

_**Classified Information: **__Kyuubi jinchuriki - merged at age ten, son of Minato (Yondaime Hokage of Konoha) and Uzumaki Kushina (former Jonin from Land of Whirlpool that no longer exists) _

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

_**Morino Ibiki **__- Genin at eleven, Chunin at twelve, Jonin at fourteen, Anbu at sixteen. _

_**Team: **__Nicknamed "Psychotic Trio" - Member with Uzumaki Naruto, Mitarashi Anko_

_**Mission status: **__15 D rank, 8 C rank, 62 B rank, 25 A rank, and 10 S-rank. _

_**Specialized Fields: **__Interrogation, potion making, Genjutsu, Taijutsu, Assassination_

_**Current Age: **__27_

_**Birthday: **__March 20th_

_**Parents/Relatives: **__Younger brother (Morino Idate - Missing)_

_**Height: **__6'4_

_**Weight: **__194lbs_

_**Distinguishing features: **__Scarred face and head, bald, black bandana, trademark black trench coat, tanned skin, black eyes_

_**Likes: **__Torturing people, __interrogating people__, scaring people, Takoyaki (Fried octopus on a stick) _

_**Dislikes: **__Interruptions during interrogations except from Naruto and Anko who sometimes help out_

_**Hobbies: **__Hanging out with friends at the SCB (Shinobi Café and Bar), interrogating people, inventing new potions, making new potions _

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

_**Mitarashi Anko**__- Genin at six, Chunin at eight, Jonin at twelve, Anbu at sixteen. _

_**Team: **__Nicknamed "Psychotic Trio" - Member with Uzumaki Naruto, Mitarashi Anko_

_**Mission status: **__15 D rank, 8 C rank, 62 B rank, 25 A rank, and 10 S-rank. _

_**Specialized Fields: **__Taijutsu, Potion making, Interrogation, Ninjutsu, Assassination_

_**Current Age: **__24_

_**Birthday: **October 24th_

_**Parents/Relatives: **Unknown_

_**Height: **5'6_

_**Weight: **__101lbs_

_**Distinguishing Features: **__Trademark black trench coat, black eyes, purple hair, revealing clothes, lightly tanned skin, bloodthirsty _

_**Likes: **__Torturing people, interrogating people, scaring people,__Bocchan Dango_ _(Japanese dumplings made out of rice flour and has three different colors - the first one from top of stick being colored by red bean, the next by eggs, the last by green tea) _

_**Dislikes: **__Annoying people - brats, biased people_

_**Hobbies: **__Hanging out with friends at the SCB (Shinobi Café and Bar), making poisons, interrogating people, insulting people, eating Dango_

_**Classified Information: **__Ex-apprentice of Orochimaru, the snake sannin and S class missing-nin of Konoha_

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Sarutobi sat in his office staring at the profiles of the three Anbu who had the best teamwork while wondering why he was reading this. He had an odd feeling when he walked into the Hokage Tower after lunch and now found himself reading the reports of Uzumaki Naruto, Morino Ibiki, and Mitarashi Anko. _'Those three are up to no good...there's no doubt'_ the Sandaime sighed as he gathered the scrolls together and placed them away.

* * *

"Hey guys" Naruto greeted as he took his seat next to Ibiki and across from Anko.

"You finished another jutsu?" the head of interrogation questioned.

"Yup" the blonde answered gleefully.

"What does this one do?" Anko asked.

"Dimension traveling!"

"…"

"…"

"What? You guys don't believe me?"

"Let's go on vacation!" Anko cheered, "If we travel to some other world, we don't have to go on all those missions the Sandaime keeps giving us!"

"I'd get more people to scare" Ibiki added.

"I get more things to burn!" Naruto chirped. "But first, we gotta leave a message for the old man."

Anko took out a blank scroll while Ibiki wrote the note. With a few quick hand seals, Naruto summoned a little fox to send the message.

"Let's get going before the old man stops us" the blonde muttered telling Anko to move to the seat next to him. _Saru, Tobi, Hebi, Tora, Ryu, Usagi, Tobi, Inu, Nezumi, Saru. _After a few more hand seals, the three vanished in a bright light.

* * *

"Nani (What)?!" Sarutobi stared at back and forth between the scroll in his hands and the fox who was watching him with amusement in its eyes.

_**Hokage-sama, **_

_**Naruto-kun had just finished a jutsu, one that allows us to travel dimensions. The possibility of doing such thing is in our favor as we have nothing to lose. This is merely a note telling you that we have ALREADY left and that we MIGHT NOT come back. However, you can come whenever you want. The seals are: Monkey, Bird, Snake, Tiger, Dragon, Hare, Bird, Dog, Rat, Monkey, Horse, Ram, and Ox. The technique is called: Sunpou Seimon (Dimension Portal). We cannot guarantee, in spite of this, that you will land in the same dimension as us. This technique can be used as many times as you want as long as you have enough chakra to pull it off. The reverse of this procedure have not been created yet. So hopefully you could figure out which dimension we landed in. You take over the body and mind of your other self when you land in the other dimension. As for this dimension, you will NOT have a replacement, so make your choice wisely seeing that you are the Hokage and leader of the village - Not that we care, of course -. Anyways, ja ne (see you soon), Hokage-sama. We have another world waiting for us to mess up. We know you keep sending us on missions because of our tendency to burn things (Naruto), and inflict fear amongst anyone (all of us). In the other world, we won't have as much to do. Best wishes in finding us!**_

_**Sincerely,**_

_**Team Psychotic Trio**_

_**- Mitarashi Anko**_

_**- Morino Ibiki**_

_**- Uzumaki Naruto**_

_**P.S. We know you will come after us. With your love of procrastinating, there is no doubt you would leave. Do keep in mind to appoint a Godaime before you leave. We do not wish to find the village in shambles when we come back for a visit. We would, undeniably, be the ones to rebuild the damn place. Should this happen, we will drag you down with us and make you do the job as well. **_

"Those three...know me so well" Sarutobi's eyebrow ticked as he called for an Anbu. The fox summon gave a sly grin and a knowing glance before poof-ing out.

"Hokage-sama" the Anbu bowed on one knee and greeted the leader of the village.

"Go bring your team and look for Tsunade."

"Hai." With that, the Shinobi disappeared in a whirl of leaves.

_One week later..._

"What do you want, sensei?" Tsunade asked annoyed. She really didn't want to stay in this village.

"You are now appointed the fifth Hokage of Konoha" the Sandaime stated, handing over the Hokage cloak and hat to her.

"I don't want the position, Sarutobi."

"Too late. Either you accept it from me or the council's going to make you. Don't ruin Konoha because of your grudge. I will be back to check on you." With that, Sarutobi formed the last seal of the jutsu. "Sunpou Seimon."

"THAT OLD MAN!" Tsunade roared when her teacher from years ago disappeared.

And that was how the Slug sannin got saddled with the tedious job as a Hokage.

* * *

Namikaze Minato was worried as he sat next to his son, Namikaze Naruto, who had fallen into a coma a week ago. The cause of the unconsciousness was unknown and there was no sign of a fight that could've caused it. Naruto may not have been the best of the batch of genin in his year, but he would've fought back should someone try do something harmful to him. The possibility of someone attacking his child wasn't low seeing how Naruto had the Kyuubi sealed in him. Minato sighed. Naruto was the dead last in his class. His status as the Yondaime's son did nothing but boost his ego. His older daughter wasn't doing any better. Ami is a huge fangirl of the Uchiha heir, Itachi. She, despite having _slightly_ higher grades than Naruto, spent most of her days pestering Itachi's younger brother, Sasuke who was in the same year as her, for pictures of the older Uchiha. She had also taken to teasing her younger brother despite being only a little better than him. Minato didn't know what to do. Kushina had passed away from child birth after having Naruto and he didn't have enough time to take care of his children. Minato didn't blame Naruto for the death of his wife, but there were times he wished she was still alive. _'Naruto...please wake up soon.'_ Almost as if answering his call, a small groan emitted from the boy on the hospital bed.

* * *

Naruto had arrived in the other dimension seven days ago, but had remained unconscious as he examined the thoughts and memories of his other self. His other self was weak and pathetic. It took a few days to organize the jumbled up mind of his other self and another few days to look over the information. In this dimension, his father didn't die from sealing the Kyuubi in him. The Kyuubi was no longer in his cage as well, seeing how they merged already back in his own world. His mother died, leaving his father to take care of him and his older sister who uses him as a scapegoat for all the times she didn't manage to get a date with Itachi. He shuddered. His sister holding a crush on the person who was labeled an S class missing-nin back in his world left a disturbing image. After seven days, he decided that it was time to wake up.

Naruto groaned when he tried to move his body. "Shit. That must've been one hard landing" he muttered as he held his head. He blinked when he spotted a man with spiky blonde hair and blue eyes staring at him oddly. _'What the hell is father doing here?'_ "Tou-san" he acknowledged.

"Naruto..." Minato gaped at his son. "You look different..."

The said preadolescent (since he was only eleven here) merely raised an eyebrow.

The Yondaime gave the boy a once over again. Naruto's once spiky blonde hair was now shoulder length, silky, golden and tied up into a ponytail. Ruby highlights glittered in the light. Slightly narrow translucent lilac eyes framed by long gold lashes caused him to shiver. Such eyes were unnerving and made him feel as though he was a prisoner being interrogated. The three whisker like marks no longer marred the smooth light tan skin. Slightly elongated fingernails were manicured black and luscious pink lips were pulled into a thin line. This boy has a slightly effeminate figure with a curvy hip, nicely shaped legs, and a lean structure compared to the gangly build he once had. Underneath the sleeveless red turtleneck top, a toned chest could be seen. The baggy black cargo pants with the many pockets and chains dangling from the belt loops kept many weapons well hidden from any opponent whom the boy would've been facing, unless one were to specifically look around for them. A simple silver band adorned the kid's right ring finger. Lastly, the boy had three small silver hoop earrings in his left lobe, one in the left cartilage of his ear, and an odd dangling earring in his right lobe. A tiny skull hung from a thread of bead which was small enough to slip through the piercing and hang in the back of the ear. _'Naruto must've merged with the fox...Yea...that must be right...'_ Minato nodded his head at the conclusion he came up with.

"If you're quite done with your _leering_, I would like to see Ibiki-kun and Anko-chan" Naruto's statement startled him out of his reverie.

'_Since when was Naruto familiar with the head of the Anbu Interrogation and Torture force and the bloodthirsty kunoichi?' _Minato's eyes narrowed slightly. "They're in the rooms next to yours."

Naruto smirked slightly at the suspicious look his father was giving him. _'So easy to read.'_ "I met them when I was walking around town a few days ago. You can say we became fast friends..." he answered his father's unasked question before slipping on his sneakers and heading out of the door.

* * *

"Ibiki-kun! Anko-chan!" Naruto chirped. "Wake up!"

"How can you be so...energetic when you just got up. Man, my head's pounding" Anko hissed.

"Oh...do you know that Sarutobi-jiji also came?" the blonde grinned. "My summon told me right after it came back."

Ibiki raised an eyebrow. "Did he land here?"

"Hmm...now that piece of information, I don't know."

"You're a shrimp here" Anko suddenly exclaimed.

"What do you expect? Me to be six feet when I'm only eleven? You're 19 here so you can't grow anymore...that's why you're the same height as when you were back in our world. Same goes for you, Ibiki-kun. You're 22, so you can't grow anymore either."

"Let's go check to see if Sandaime-sama got here" Ibiki's lips twitched as if trying to hold back a smile

* * *

"Old man!" Naruto greeted after having ran around the hospital and barging into random rooms with his two friends to look for the Sandaime only to find the said person in the room next to the one he was in before.

"He got lucky" Anko grinned. "Landing here on his first try."

"Uzumaki Naruto" Sarutobi forced out through gritted teeth.

"Nuh-uh-uh. It's Namikaze Naruto here" Naruto wagged a finger at the Sandaime.

"He's alive?"

"You should look over your thoughts before you wake next time, gramps!" Naruto whacked the third Hokage's head playfully.

"Ah...Naruto-kun. You're eleven...and today's the day of the genin exam..." Sarutobi hinted.

"Crap" the blonde cursed while slapping his forehead. "My other self is a fuckin' idiot. Kami-sama help me today and for the rest of my stay here or I just might blow up the whole village."

"What did your other self do?" the Sandaime questioned, glee lacing his voice._'Oh...something to get back at the brat.'_

"The brat's like your godson" Naruto smirked. _'You can't win me here, Sarutobi.'_ "He didn't do anything. And that's the problem."

"Ah...just like Konohamaru" Anko contributed. "Naruto here is the dead-last of his class and his sister, Ami, isn't fairing any better."

"Ibiki-kun, Anko-chan...whenever you get a mission...DRAG ME ALONG!" Naruto nearly shouted hysterically.

"Alright" the two answered, feeling slightly sorry for their young friend.

"NARUTO" a voice behind them boomed.

The four (Naruto, Sarutobi, Anko, and Ibiki) turned to find the Yondaime huffing and panting against the door to the room.

"YOUR GENIN EXAM IS TODAY! HURRY AND GET YOUR ASS OVER THERE!" Minato roared.

"Tut, tut, language, language, father. You shouldn't tarnish your reputation as the Hokage just to scold me. Besides school starts in a few minutes and I'm half an hour _run_ away from the academy. I wouldn't make it in time no matter what" Naruto tsk-ed before stretching and walking out the door. "See ya later, Sarutobi-jiji, Anko-chan, Ibiki-kun."

Minato blinked and blushed slightly under the stare of the Sandaime and the two Tokubetsu jonins.

"Your ability as a leader must be failing if you get scolded by your own son" Sarutobi shook his head in mock disappointment.

"Naru-chan's like that. Don't let him get to you" Anko snickered along with Ibiki. "He can arrive at the Academy in under one minute if he wanted to."

"Ah...well, I'll leave you three to your discussion. I'm going to look for my son" the fourth Hokage bid them farewell before rushing off with his famous Hiraishin no Jutsu (Flying Thunder God Technique) leaving in a yellow blur.

"And he thinks he can catch up to Naru-chan's shunpo (flash step) with that" Anko chuckled.

"What's shunpo?" Sarutobi asked.

"It's almost like the Hiraishin, but doesn't require the tri-tipped kunai nor the seal to activate it. It's the name we gave for Naruto's speed" Ibiki informed. "When he attacks, you can't see him move. It doesn't even leave a blur like the Hiraishin, you merely see him flicker in place and you're dead before you know it. It's kind of scary."

The Sandaime nodded before deciding to head off to look for his grandson. He need to teach Konohamaru early in case he ends up like the Konohamaru back in his world.

* * *

Naruto darted quickly around Konoha towards the ninja school. He stopped however when he spotted two Uchihas walking down the same path. It seems like Itachi didn't massacre his clan here and is actually nicer to his brother. Perhaps that's because of Ami's constant declaration of love that's taking away the pressure off his family's requirements? Or maybe because Minato's alive here? And why the hell is he thinking of these thoughts?! Clearing his mind, he slowly walked up to the two prestigious clan members. "Yo!" he greeted in a manner similar to Hatake Kakashi's.

"Naruto-kun" Itachi greeted with a nod.

"Dobe" Sasuke smirked. "You think you're going to pass the genin exam this time?"

"You don't think I ---" Naruto was cut off when he felt someone appear behind him. With his lightning fast reflexes he elbowed the offender in the stomach before disappearing and reappearing a few feet away from where he was standing before, facing the Uchihas and his offender. The person turned out to be his father who was knocked back a meter due to the hit.

"Ouch" Minato groaned, hugging his stomach that was now bruising badly. "That hurts."

"Oops..." Naruto grinned sheepishly. "See you guys later" he waved before disappearing again.

"And I finally caught him" the Yondaime muttered.

Sasuke was gaping wondering if that really was the dead last that had vanished into thin air. He thought that technique wasn't taught until they were Chunins! Besides, the dobe looked completely different from the last time he'd seen him.

Itachi stared ahead with his Sharingan spinning. He couldn't even see the blonde when he disappeared. _'A technique? No...I didn't see any hand seals nor any use of chakra...he must've been really fast then...I couldn't even see his outline when he moved. It looks like Naruto-kun is more than what he appears'_ a small unnoticeable smile appeared on his face. It would be a pleasure to teach or even work with someone like Naruto.

* * *

TBC...Hope you all enjoyed!

* * *

**A/N: **Okay, I changed the plot except the pyromaniac part and the Ibiki and Anko parts. Since some of you doesn't like bashing of any of the major characters, I decided to use a very minor character to add humor to the story. Ami is the purple haired girl from Sakura's memory and was the person who picked on Sakura back when they were younger. There was only one scene of her. I don't remember if she was from the manga or the anime, or both, but she bullied Sakura and Ino stood up for the pink haired kunoichi by shoving flowers into Ami's mouth. I hope you guys don't mind a little bashing of some characters since well...one of Naruto's, Ibiki's, and Anko's hobbies is insulting people...I also made this longer since the chapters from the story before was too short. I'll try to update as soon as possible...but that's highly unlikely...lol.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Of Wind and Fire

**Disclaimer: **I do NOT own Naruto nor any characters associated with it. Ami isn't mine either. She's a minor character from Naruto whom I have chosen to add into my story but with a different relation to the characters from the anime/manga.

**Warning:** Spoiler...and I've decided that this is going to be YAOI...sorry. I can only think of a plot involving yaoi. I might make up a non-yaoi version of this sometime soon...but it'll probably be crack...

**Note: **Chapter 1 has been edited, if you have yet to read it, please read it first.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

* * *

"Namikaze Naruto?" Umino Iruka, the academy teacher, called out.

Silence answered him as he glanced around the room looking for the said boy.

"Sensei, why do you even bother? My brother's only allowed to be here because he begged" Ami informed haughtily, checking her nails, as if she was any better. "If daddy isn't the Hokage, he would've been kicked out a while ago."

"Naruto's cutting school...again..." Iruka sighed to himself, marking the attendance sheet.

_After School (14:00)..._

Naruto hummed cheerfully as he headed into the house. He just ate an expensive lunch with his friends and he didn't have to pay! Oh, the wonders of his all-powerful puppy-dog eyes! Not to mention, his pretty...yes..._pretty _eye color gave him a huge advantage. The only problem is that he nearly got hugged to death by Anko - something that he doesn't want to die by. He stepped out of his sneakers and was about to head upstairs to his room when he father spoke up.

"Namikaze Naruto" Minato growled from his seat on the sofa.

"Yes, dad?" he turned around, face morphing into confusion. He knows that his Tou-san is going to berate him about missing class. But he had turned around with an innocent expression like many would, it would give away his act, telling the other that he knows what he had done wrong. So, he decided to stick with 'oblivious'.

"I heard you cut class today" Minato narrowed his eyes in anger as his son plopped down across from him on the armchair. "You won't be able to become ninja if you don't pass the academy first."

"Eh?" Naruto tilted his head and frowned. _'I'm going to skewer whoever told on me...' _"Didn't Iruka-sensei come over to tell you?"

"Iruka? He didn't come. He didn't tell Ami to tell me anything either."

"Why would Iruka-sensei tell Ami?" Naruto smirked inwardly. _'Hook. Line. Now the sinker.'_

"Because Ami would tell me. She usually come to me about everything."

"Oh..." Naruto chuckled evilly in his mind. _'Bingo! I only used Iruka's name in the question to have you tell me who would tell you anything about school. Iruka would never come over here to complain about me...A simple trap, but you fell for it anyways. Looks like I'll have to speak with Ami...__**soon**'_

"So what were you doing that was important enough for you to miss school?"

"I had to speak with Sarutobi-jiji" Naruto answered, thinking back to the meeting.

_**Flashback**_

"_Naruto-kun, good you're on time" the Sandaime said seriously. Anko and Ibiki were also there in the Third's room._

"_What's the problem?" the blond questioned as he flopped down on the bed. He had immediately headed for Sarutobi when he felt his genjutsu-hidden Anbu tattoo heat up. The genjutsu that hid the insignia was also anchored to a seal so the Sharingan and the Byakugan won't be able to see through the illusion._

"_I forgot to tell you guys your restrictions earlier, so I'll tell you guys now" Sarutobi stated. "First of all, when I need you guys in cases of emergencies, I will refer to you guys by your appointed group name instead of the nickname-turned-name."_

"_Whaaaat? You're gonna call us by that lame 'Hell's Three' thing?" Anko rolled her eyes. "Besides, if people think we're mentally unstable, they'd loosen their guards!"_

"_You guys have yet to earn that reputation as the Psychotic Trio here. Being known as the psychotic trio would give away everything...as Naruto can't be known as 'crazy'" the Sandaime explained. "Secondly, don't show anything that would reveal that we're from another dimension."_

"_We can show our skills right?" Naruto asked. "Cause everyone is blaming the sudden change in attitude for err...this body on Kyuu."_

_"This year, there will be an extra graduate...since Ami is actually trying to become a kunoichi. Anko, try to take Naruto as your student when they begin to assign the teachers, that way the other jonin instructors won't have to find out about Naruto. As for you, Ibiki, you will have to remain in the Interrogation department. I'll have Minato put Anko on the roster as one of the jonin instructors. Since this would be Itachi's first time accepting a genin team, there would be no doubt that he would be working with Kakashi or one of the other experienced jonins." the Third dismissed them afterwards._

_**End of Flashback**_

"What did he need to speak to you about?" Minato questioned curiously.

"He just told me the better things of life...and I should put more effort...I guess."

"Alright. You may go."

* * *

Naruto smirked when he found his sister hiding behind a bush in training ground 17 spying on the two Uchiha brothers that were training. _'Perfect...now for revenge. Bwahahaha. I'm going to make your life miserable, you bitch. Heh.'_ "How could you, Ami!" he shouted, catching his sister's attention as well as the other two standing nearby.

"Well if it isn't the dead last" Ami sneered. "So, did daddy take you out of the academy yet?"

"I can't believe you! I told you that Sarutobi-jiji wanted to speak with me! Why didn't you tell Iruka-sensei that?!" Naruto exclaimed. "And why the hell did you lie to dad and tell him that I cut class?!"

"W-wuh?" Ami stuttered. "What are you talking about? You didn't tell me anything!"

"Oh my Kami-sama!" the younger Namikaze groaned. "Is stalking the Uchiha the only thing you remember to do? I told you that in the morning right before you left for school. How could you forget in fifteen minutes?!"

"I told you, you didn't tell me shit!" the female snarled, annoyed that she's being distracted from observing her crush.

"Fine! Be stupid! I'm gonna get kicked out of the fucking academy cause you can't remember in your dense tiny brain to tell the teacher the Sandaime wishes to speak with me!" Naruto hissed, turning on his heels and storming off.

Ami huffed before turning around. She squeaked when she found Itachi and Sasuke staring at her - Itachi with indifference and Sasuke with varying degrees of disgust.

"I didn't know you were that type of person" Itachi's red eyes bore into her blue ones, causing her to shiver.

"H-He didn't tell me anything" Ami muttered. "He's probably lying."

"Why would he be so angry then?" Sasuke shot back.

"How the hell am I supposed to know?!" the Namikaze girl shouted, throwing a glance at her crush.

Itachi was no longer observing Ami and is staring at the place where Naruto disappeared. He's unsure...but he thought he heard someone laughing...

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Naruto held in his amusement as he stomped off. He let go of his restraint when he got out of what he deem to be Ami and the Uchihas' hearing range and allowed himself to roar with laughter. One of his arms clutched his stomach while he supported his head with the other hand. "Hahaha. I can't believe it. I should take up acting. -pant- Oh Kami-sama. That was so hilarious!" He stumbled slightly as he continued to cackle. People were looking at him oddly when he got into the village, but he didn't care as he proceeded towards the Interrogation Department.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"Are you...okay, Naru-chan?" Anko asked, poking the blond who was muffling his mirth with his arm while wiping his tears with his other hand.

"Wow..." Naruto inhaled deeply after he calmed down. "I think I just ruined my sister's life" he nodded sagely as if he was correct in doing whatever he did.

"Oh?" Ibiki raised an eyebrow at his youngest friend, pausing from grilling a prisoner for answers.

"Yup!" the blond chirped before explaining everything.

The other two burst out laughing after he finished telling the story and the guards outside the interrogation room shuddered, feeling sorry for whoever is being interrogated. The two jonins laughing is no _happy_ matter. In fact, people tend to stay further away. _'Sadists...'_ the guards thought. Too bad they didn't know that the 'victim' being probed have already fainted after hearing what the blond boy that entered did.

"Ano...your toy's unconscious" Naruto pointed out.

"Pathetic" Ibiki murmured, humor lighting his dark black eyes. "Ah, it doesn't matter... We'll let him wallow in fear."

The other two members of Hell's Three smirked maliciously. "Yes...we should make him pay for falling asleep on us..."

As if he heard the comment, the unconscious prisoner whimpered.

* * *

"Minato, I have another jonin to add to the list of jonin instructors this year" Sarutobi told the current Hokage.

"Who is it, Sarutobi-jiji?" the blond in his mid-thirties grinned widely.

"Mitarashi Anko."

The Yellow Flash of Konoha looked startled. "Whaaat? You're going to allow that bloodthirsty kunoichi take on a _genin_ team?"

"Are you doubting her skills?" the Third raised an eyebrow.

"No...but the genins are going to break under her tor--training."

"Let Naruto be on her team then...I'm pretty sure there's an extra genin. Just give Naruto to her."

"No way! I'm not handing Naru-chan to that...that...lady!" Minato sulked. "Besides, Naru-chan didn't even attend the genin exams."

"But Naruto is friends with Anko. They'll most likely work well together. Oh and Naruto can graduate. I tested him when I told him to meet with me" the Sandaime shrugged, lying carelessly. "If you don't agree with me, it's your loss...have three kids break down mentally then. I mean like your son can withstand anything thrown at him. Just let Anko take him under her wings."

"There's always Itachi! We can have Naru-chan placed under Itachi!"

"But Itachi is new to this and he's young. He should be placed with Kakashi or one of the other experienced jonins first before he should take his own team. Besides, the council is most likely going to have Itachi help out his brother anyways."

Minato huffed. "Fine...but if my son turns crazy, I'm going to toss you into the mental asylum for suggesting the idea of placing Naru-chan under that mental purple haired kunoichi!"

"It's not like he isn't crazy in the first place" Sarutobi muttered under his breath.

The Yondaime managed to catch the phrase and narrowed his eyes, but didn't comment. "It's official then. Naruto will be placed with Anko..."

Sarutobi grinned to hide a smirk. _'Having the Psychotic Trio as my personal Anbu squad helps. I think I know now why those three like to play with words and twist meanings around so much...Oh no! They have corrupted me!'_

* * *

_Back in the other dimension..._

Deep within the caves in Amegakure (Rain Country), two glowing Mangekyou Sharingan orbs glinted angrily. The figure growled and swept the soggy scroll he was studying off the desk. "Ami" he hissed, waiting for the said teen to scramble towards him. "Get Pein here" he commanded.

"Hai" the girl squeaked before bowing and scurrying off.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"Is there something I can help you with, Tobi...or should I say Madara-sama?" Pein drawled, glancing at Ami who went back to hiding in the shadows behind Madara's chair. "You should treat that girl better. You chose her for your wife and she's one of the Uzumaki-Namikaze children."

"She's not the heir. She's too weak to receive the position as the princess of Uzu no Kuni. I won't be able to rule over Whirlpool" the Uchiha scowled. "She's only useful for mundane tasks."

"What do you want the Akatsuki to do?"

"Call off the search for the Kyuubi jinchuriki."

"You're going to look for him yourself?" Pein raised an eyebrow. "He _is_ the heir and _is _powerful enough to be the ruler of Uzugakure (Whirlpool Country). He's something worth holding on to - especially with his infamous reputation and high ranking political status."

"Looking for that boy would take months...Zetsu found a scroll left by that boy in the Hokage's office. It's an original jutsu created by the boy without doubt. It would tell me -- us where he went if the Godaime had not spilled sake all over it. All I need to do is recreate the technique using whatever seals I can read from the original."

"You're following through with this plan?"

"He can grant me my wish" Madara informed, a small tint of pride underlying his tone. "He's also the only one that can match up to me."

Pein grinned widely when he caught the minuscule softening of red eyes. "You're still thinking of him" he stated more than questioned.

The founder of the Uchiha clan frowned. "He's the one that won't leave me be."_'I'm coming for you, Naruto-kun.'_

* * *

**A/N: **Yay! I updated and it's not some stupid chapter that I made up in a few minutes! Anyways, there's a warning about the spoiler so don't flame me for that. **Sorry again for those who dislike Yaoi. I'll try to think up a non-yaoi plot or a non-yaoi crack fic similar to this. As for those who don't mind, but want side-pairings, please leave a comment and I might include it in the story. There's going to be a poll up for the main pairing on my profile. Please vote. **Thanks and I hope you guys enjoyed the second chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **Of Wind and Fire

**Disclaimer:** It kinda gets boring when you have to read the same thing over and over again every chapter doesn't it? OO. I also forgot to say this in the earlier chapters, but there are also mentions of Bleach stuff. I don't own those either.

* * *

_**Chapter 3**_

* * *

It was way too early for anyone to be up, but one person could be found laying on top of the Hokage mountain in between the carved faces of the Sandaime and the Yondaime. Naruto breathed in the fresh air and purred in contentment. It was times like these that he appreciated. While he didn't seem like one to enjoy silence and instead opted for trouble, he rarely did have time to think alone without being questioned or badgered (a disadvantage for being deemed insane). He pulled off his hair-band and allowed his hair to pool around his face. It felt nice when the wind tugged at the golden strands. His eyes were glazed as he gazed up into the star dotted sky. It has been only one day since he and his friends arrived on this dimension and he was already adjusted to the system. Sighing, he rubbed his eyes with the heel of his palms. Things were already getting complicated. He didn't want to get attached to this village...hell, he didn't even want to be here. But he had no choice. There was nothing he could do to get away. He knows he's acting cowardly and he knows that it's a terrible trait to have as a shinobi, but it is important that he left - for the safety of his village and the rest of the hidden villages.

He has yet to tell the other three that he brought here about the _real_ reason for why he left...but apparently they took his excuse - albeit a flimsy one. Naruto's eyes widened when a thought hit him. "Well shit...! How could I forget to tell them?! Only the items on them when performing the jutsu would be brought over! I have no qualms that Sarutobi didn't bring the scroll that has the technique with him. If _**he**_finds it, then this would all be futile" he muttered frantically. "I suppose it's a good thing I keep all my stuff on me at all times...besides, it's not like the others are gonna be going into a world where their counterpart keeps a wardrobe full of _orange_ jumpsuits. I mean who the hell would wear a woolen jumpsuit in such a hot place like Konoha?" Naruto chuckled bitterly, trying to calm his anxiety. It would ruin his reputation if Anko or Ibiki saw him like this...so...so unnerved.

Knowing that it's too late to fix the problem, he sat up and dug through his pockets. At least he took his most important possession - the item that Madara is obviously after - with him. Upon taking out a small platinum scroll, he bit his thumb and wiped it over the seals. A 'poof' later, six beautifully engraved bangles appeared. Each bangle is alike with aquamarine seals carved into the platinum. Naruto smiled grimly and placed three bracelets on each wrist. "Kyouka Suigetsu (Mirror Flower Water Moon)" he whispered almost reverently. It is his family's heirloom from his mother's side. A one-of-a-kind item that is powerful and could only be passed down through the family. But in order to receive the bangles, one had to past through a trapped terrain and find the item. As the Uzumaki family were paranoid people, they had seals drawn everywhere - meaning only someone with considerable knowledge in seals would have a chance of getting the artifact. The quest didn't leave him unscathed, causing him to stay in the hospital for about a week. A wistful smile tugged at his lips at the memory. He was so bloodied and bruised that he nearly had to literally crawl back to Konoha from Whirlpool. The fact that both countries are almost on opposite ends made it harder. But the Kyouka Suigetsu was definitely worth it and he was glad that he didn't lose any body parts.

Naruto ran a finger through his hair as he laid back down to watch the sunrise and the sky brighten. The bangles clinked as they collided with each other. He yawned and rubbed his eyes tiredly - he had pulled an all-nighter pondering on all the possible escape routes to take when that blasted Uchiha finds him.

"Naruto" an oddly familiar voice called out. "I know you're growing up and that you need your freedom. But really...forgoing sleep?"

"Tou-san" the younger male greeted. "I suppose you had a good night?"

Minato raised an eyebrow. "Of course. Missing sleep is a health hazard."

"Ah. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine in a few minutes."

"I'll take your words on that" the Yondaime grinned and headed back down the mountain.

* * *

An energetic blond hummed happily around his lollipop as he skipped out of his house all dressed for school.

"N-Naruto?" the current Hokage sputtered, wondering how his son could change so quickly from a near-dead looking zombie to a chipper high-on-sugar brat. When he didn't receive an answer, he shrugged and went back to eating his breakfast. As long as his children are happy, then he really wouldn't care what they do to become that way.

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Naruto smirked as heads turned when he walked by. When he spotted the two Uchihas heading towards the academy again, he sped up until he walked right next to Itachi - on the other side of Sasuke. "Really, I know I'm good looking and all, but everyone's staring. I might have to say that my fan club surpasses both of yours."

"Naruto-kun" Itachi greeted, ever the polite one.

"Dobe" Sasuke added after a moment of pause.

"Aww...I'm ashamed that you seem to greet me as an afterthought" the blond mocked in a wounded tone. "Besides, don't you guys know that it's rude not to look at the person you're speaking to?"

Itachi was the first to turn. Onyx orbs gave the boy a glance over, eyes remaining on the younger male, and nodded his consent. "I think your new style startled everyone. It's not everyday people see you without orange on."

A smirk adorned the ex-jinchuriki's face. "If I didn't know better - wait...I don't. But whatever - I'd say that you were checking me out! I _do_ look nice today, ne? It's graduation - gotta wear something nice. Then there's also first impressions with the new teacher."

Itachi looked a little miffed at the retort - whether from the accuracy of the statement or from the fact that the idea was prosperous, it was unknown.

Sasuke's head quickly turned at that comment and allowed his eyes to rove over the lithe body walking alongside his brother. His classmate is currently wearing a black short-sleeved button-up with the first two buttons undone. A pink tie hung loosely around the blonde's neck. Black knee-length cargo shorts hung low on Naruto's hips and matching sneakers adorned the preadolescent's feet. Underneath the blonde's bracelets (that surely weren't there yesterday) are black and gray striped fingerless polyester gloves that reached the boy's elbows. The Yondaime's son did look nice...in a semi-casual sort of way - but there's no way he's going to boost the already huge ego the boy has. "So narcissistic" he drawled. "You think you look good in everything."

"Now that you mention it. I believe that I do" the youngest of the three answered thoughtfully. "But narcissistic? Hardly. Itachi here thinks I look _positively fine_, no?"

The older Uchiha didn't comment and merely kept his attention forward.

Sasuke snorted. "Like he's going to compliment someone like you."

"Now that's just plain mean" the blond pouted. "Besides, _you_ never did say I look bad and Itachi never did deny that he was checking me out."

"What are you? Hitting on my brother?" the shorter Uchiha questioned with disbelief.

Naruto nearly choked on his candy. "Now _that's _just completely _delusional_" he chuckled. "He'd be plain boring - no offense - and I don't wanna get ripped apart by rabid admirers. But...I might pretend to crush on him just to annoy Ami. Now that's a completely _reasonable_ idea."

"So you're gay?" a smug grin appeared on the rookie-of-the-year's face.

"Ah. I never said that, and I never mentioned that I was into guys" Naruto retorted, moving over to his classmate and drawing the Uchiha closer to his body by the shoulders. "Can't say the same for you. You look too alluring for a girl to match up. She'd look plain next to you" he whispered enticingly into the ear of the older boy, lips just centimeters away from the lobe. He gave himself a mental pat on the back when a blush rose on the boy's pale cheeks. His eyes immediately then darted towards the forgotten Uchiha and he couldn't help but giggle slightly in glee, releasing the boy in his hold.

"Itachi-kun" Naruto enunciated. "You look jealous. I'm sorry for being the one to make Sasuke-kun blush." When he received a 'hn', his eyes sparkled maliciously. "Or was it him that you're envious of?" His two walking companions gave him looks that unquestionably doubted his sanity. "Don't worry. I'm not whispering sweet nothings to him. He's too big of a prick to be accepting endearments. Now as for you, _handsome_...I find you unable to accept them. Have a good day" he laughed and entered the academy, leaving two ticked off Uchihas (more like leaving one ticked off and assuming that the other one is as well) outside.

"Aniki...he...just complimented and insulted us" Sasuke pointed out through gritted teeth.

"It's hard to find someone other than Ibiki-san and Anko-san - both of the Anbu Interrogation department - that can do that and get away without a scratch" Itachi replied deadpanned.

"You reckon he does that a lot?"

"It seems almost natural for him to do so. The bell is about to ring. Head in. I'll be joining with the other jonins later."

* * *

_In the academy... (start of class - 8:00)_

When Naruto had entered, a ruckus began. People were shouting out questions to seemingly everyone and whispers spread like a wild forest fire.

"Whoa. All this over little ol' me?" he inquired, features easily sliding into a face of surprise. "What is this? Today's love Naru day?"

Kiba seemed to be the first to catch on to the self-praising declarations. "What is there to like about a dead-last?!"

A knowing grin replaced the shocked look. _'Ah...someone who only notices insults and praises given to someone else - or in this case, to oneself...lets see if he can get this.' _"I don't think I can grant you an answer to that. As you can see, your aptitude is less than adequate to comprehend what I'm saying and I don't want to spend time explaining unnecessary details. However, it's been duly noted that you only converge your concentration on insults and praises. It's a pity no? I think everybody should be noted for their good quality and not for their flaws."

"Uh...I guess you're good at some things" the Inuzuka complied, only understanding the last two sentences.

Snickers (and I don't mean the chocolate bars) filled the room at that respond. It seems like Iruka and the Nara boy caught on to the insults while the rest of the class looked clueless.

"Ooh... I like you already" Naruto pointed to the brunette with the pineapple hairstyle and headed over to sit next to alleged target.

"Very well narrated" Shikamaru praised with a smirk. "I think the Uchiha over there seems to have gotten a taste of your snide remarks. He looks lost between sympathy and unease. It makes him appear constipated."

"Ah...you see, my dear Shika" the Namikaze patted the said boy on the shoulders, "he and his brother are unable to decide between a love-hate relationship between them and I. Really, I don't understand why people seems to hate me before trying to be friends with me. You think it's because they don't want to get attached to me? Is that a bad thing?" he pulled out his puppy dog eyes - including large teary eyes and trembling lower lip that jutted out into a pout.

The Nara child looked a little unsettled but sighed and turned towards the blond. "I'm pretty sure that they're just basing their opinions on the popular students in class. As you know, your sister is older and has more friends, they listen to her insult you and they think that if they be friends with you, they are going to be made fun of too."

"That's just plain biased!"

"Ah. That's how life is."

"Wow. That's really profound, Shika. Would you like to be my friend?"

"Err..."

"You're just like them, aren't you?" Naruto sniffed, tears forming at the side of his eyes again. _'Man...it stings when I force my eyes to water so much' _"I thought you'd be nicer..."

Shikamaru was torn. He didn't want Ino bothering him for befriending the boy...but that poor boy deserves to at least have a school friend. _'I mean...just because his sister gets more friends in school doesn't mean that Naruto is unworthy of such attention_.'

"Say...how did you pass the genin exams if you weren't there?" Chouji asked, munching on a bag of chips. Apparently, the kindhearted redhead has decided that the blond deserves to be a friend.

Shikamaru sighed. It was determined after Chouji decided that Naruto is amicable enough.

"Well, well. It looks like my little otouto made friends with a fatty and a bum" Ami sneered from the entrance.

"And it looks like you're late, dear Aneki" Naruto retorted, looking quite bored. "Shika-kun is smart even if he's lazy and Chouji-kun here has a reason to be big. His family jutsus require it. On the other hand...an anorexic (a/n: no offense to those who are) freak like you wouldn't understand. Skin on bones looks pretty to you, no?"

"Why you brat! I'm gonna tell daddy!"

"Oh? I'd say he'd agree with me. Besides, father's not going to trust you after yesterday. I don't think _Ita-kun_ will either."

"How dare you call Itachi-sama with such familiarity?!"

"I _do_ know him. I can call _my friends_ with whatever nickname I want. Right, Sasu-chan?"

The emo raven-haired preadolescent grunted at the diversion tactic, causing said boy's fangirls to snap their heads towards him.

"Sasuke-kun's friends with Naruto?!" Sakura whispered curiously to her rival, Ino.

"Itachi-sama is not your friend!" Ami shouted, ignoring the others.

"And how would you know, my darling sister? Just because he doesn't want to be yours, doesn't mean he doesn't _like _me."

"ALRIGHT. QUITE DOWN. I will announce the teams now" Iruka announced loudly. "Sit down and listen up."

Everybody scuttled to their seats and listened for their teams. Shikamaru, meanwhile, was observing the blond next to him. The way Naruto played on their emotions and thoughts were astounding. He, himself, didn't know he fell for it until he caught the Namikaze's lilac orbs glint with delight at Sasuke's annoyed grunt at having half of the attention turned to him, Ami's frustration at being unable to make a witty comeback, and Kiba's inability to recognize an insult directed towards him. Someone who can switch personalities so rapidly and make other people feel what they wanted them to feel is someone who shouldn't be trifled with. It scared him that he's sitting right next to one. Unable to do anything, Shikamaru turned his attention back to the teacher. Perhaps if he ignored the blond, the other boy will disregard him.

"Team 7: Ami, Sakura and Sasuke under Kakashi and Itachi. Team 8: Hinata, Kiba and Shino under Kurenai. Team 9: Naruto under...Anko?!. Team 10: Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji under Asuma" Iruka informed. "Your jonin instructors will be here to collect you guys. Remember that there will be a congratulatory party for all new genins at 20:00 at Urahara's."

* * *

_At Urahara's (20:00)_

Out of the 28 graduates (10 teams), only teams 7 through 10 passed.

"I would like to congratulate all of those who has succeeded in the academy and passed on to becoming genins. As you guys are officially shinobis, you will be more at risk. Taking chances and being brave are few of the ninja traits. May all of you have a safe journey to becoming strong" the Yondaime announced on the podium at the front of the restaurant.

Congratulation party bags were handed out and the music was turned on. Everybody were either eating, dancing, or sitting around chatting.

Naruto is currently sucking on the last lollipop that he managed to bribe from other classmates. Sarutobi, Anko and Ibiki were playing 'I Never' with bottles of sake on the table; Ami is sitting at the table with Itachi and pretending to ask questions about what jobs genins do; His father is chatting with a few of the jonins near the back; Chouji and Shikamaru were at the snack table; and lastly, he is sitting by himself eating candy.

"Naruto" the silver-haired jonin for Team 7 greeted, taking a seat next to the blond.

"Kakashi" the genin replied in the same tone.

"You look bored" the man said, trying to start a conversation.

"Ah...I'm eating though."

"Won't you get fat from eating all those candy?"

"Nope. I have a high metabolism. As you should know, the rate of metabolism determines how much food is required for consumption. Metabolism is the set of chemical reactions that occur in living organisms in order to maintain life. These processes allow organisms to grow and reproduce, maintain their structures, and respond to their environments."

"I know what metabolism is" Kakashi cut in.

"Wait, let me finish. Metabolism is usually divided into two categories. Catabolism breaks down large molecules, for example to harvest energy in cellular respiration. Anabolism, on the other hand, uses energy to construct components of cells such as proteins and nucleic acid.

The chemical reactions of metabolism are organized into metabolic pathways, in which one chemical is transformed into another by a sequence of enzymes. Enzymes are crucial to metabolism because they allow organisms to drive desirable but thermodynamically unfavorable reactions by coupling them to favorable ones. Enzymes also allow the regulation of metabolic pathways in response to changes in the cell's environment or signals from other cells.

Talking about cells, all your brain cells is probably being used to keep your hair gravity-defying like now, so I don't know why the hell I'm explaining this to you" Naruto rambled on quickly.

"Are you insulting my intelligence?" the silver-haired man looked murderous.

"Sorry" Naruto bowed his head. "I just ran out of lollipops" he informed solemnly, as if that was the reason for why he was insulting the man. "But hey, you should be happy you came and talked to me. You learned science today. Isn't it fun?"

Itachi at the table nearby chortled mentally at the site of the genin telling off the jonin. Upon spotting Ami unwrapping one of her lollipops from the party bags, he reached over and plucked it out of her fingers.

"Oh, you can have that one. Itachi-sama" the blond smiled sweetly, acting as if she was the one to give her crush the candy.

The Uchiha 'hn-ed' and turned over to see Kakashi still looking lost between accepting the apology and pissed at being insulted. Naruto meanwhile was still staring sadly at the bunch of lollipop sticks in his hand.

"Naruto-kun" he called out.

The said boy turned to him and tilted his head curiously before spotting the candy in his hand. A small squeal later, Naruto had his mouth over the candy.

Itachi raised an eyebrow at the action.

"Wuhr (what)? I harve (have) to get the carndy (candy) befur (before) someworn (someone) erlse (else) dors (does)" he answered, mouth full of the sweet. After swallowing the saliva gathered at the back of his throat, Naruto took the lollipop out of the older boy's hand.

"Hey! That isn't for you!" Ami snarled.

The younger Namikaze looked confused. "Oh" he said lamely before shoving the sweet from his mouth into the mouth of his sister's crush's. "Here. He can have it back."

Itachi looked stunned, lollipop stick hanging out of his mouth.

Ami shrieked. "That was an indirect kiss!!"

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "So...? It's not like I _did_ kiss him."

"But...but" his older sister sputtered incoherently.

"You would love to see us do so, won't you?" he smirked, reaching a hand behind the rookie jonin's neck and pulled his face closer. Naruto tilted his head sideways slightly until his lips were millimeters apart from the other man's.

When Ami fainted, Naruto let go, not really intending to touch lips with the male's. He laughed before turning towards Itachi. Leaning over so that his face was next to the raven's, he looked curiously at the teen's cheek. "You have an adorable blush" he whispered before darting off towards his friends, cackling as he caught a faintly darker flush on the older male.

Second day and what not - Naruto was having fun. Screw Madara and escape plans! This was his vacation and he's gonna enjoy it!

* * *

**Author's note: **Chapter 3's out! I had so much fun writing this! I had it planned out for a while, but it took me forever to figure out how to put it into words. . All the information on metabolism is researched, so I didn't make those up. Hope you guys enjoyed it!


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: **Of Wind and Fire

**Disclaimer: **Anything that seems familiar belongs to their respective creators

* * *

_**Chapter 4**_

* * *

"Sarutobi, I'm not joking" Naruto insisted, eyes glittering darkly in annoyance.

The said man stopped laughing and coughed. "Ah, excuse my momentary lapse into insanity. Can you...uh...repeat your request again?'

Anko and Ibiki shared curious looks as they glanced between the blond and the old man.

"I'm saying that we should think up another excuse for my personality. It's obvious that everyone thinks my sudden change of behavior is due to the merge with Kyuubi, but it's starting to get suspicious...I've seen Nara Shikamaru stare me every time I pass near Team 10's training ground. It could've been that he's attracted to me, but that's unlikely considering how he seems to be trying to avoid me ever since I took a seat next to him on graduation day..."

"What do you suggest?" the Sandaime raised an eyebrow. "Telling everyone we're from another dimension would be like trying to save a fish from drowning. It's impossible because the situation is impossible."

The Namikaze shot him an indignant look. "I'm offended that you think I'd be stupid enough to tell them that. It's quite simple, what I'm suggesting. We'll just do what we do best - fabricate a situation that could've happened and make it appear as if it _**did**_ happen."

"In other words, we're going to weave a lie" Anko gave a cheerful grin. "One that they're going to have to take careful precision in untangling if they want to figure out what we're hiding."

"And one where even the evidence wouldn't be revealing anything of importance" Ibiki added thoughtfully.

The Third shuddered inwardly as possibilities of what could happen ran through his mind. "I have a feeling this isn't going to end well for someone..."

"Oh, no" Naruto tsk-ed. "I thought you knew us, old man...It seems like we didn't teach you well enough. When you fabricate a situation, there can't be any leaks...It's like tying a complicated knot - allowing a single pull to unravel it would make it useless. When you're creating a web of lies this large, you have to make sure that every single point is taken care of."

"How many people are going to suffer from this?" Sarutobi questioned warily.

"None that you would care about" a smirk appeared on the blonde's lips. "Which makes it more convincing...because there won't be people who would notice the changes in those who are going to help us secure our lie."

"As a former Hokage, he won't understand, Naru-chan" the purple-haired kunoichi shook her head. "Hokage, apparently, is the title for someone who has to willingly care for everyone in Konoha."

Naruto shrugged. "If Sarutobi doesn't like my idea, then he can leave. It's not like he has to care anymore anyways. Minato's the Hokage now."

"When can we start this?" Ibiki raised an eyebrow. "We have to get enough information for the situation to be crafted."

"Ah...and that information can be gathered from in here" the younger Anbu pointed a finger at his head. "The information we have so far would satisfy what we have to do. Everything else can be forcefully modified to our content. I will need to pay a visit to Danzo, _Ne_ (Root) and Hasuo Nanase."

"Danzo, _Ne_, and _**who**_?" the other three asked.

"Exactly - someone that you guys don't know. Don't worry, she's someone that loved beating _**'Naruto'**_ with her broomstick every time _**'he'**_ walked through the alley near her house. She'll fit perfectly into the role I'm placing her in. As for Danzo and _Ne_, Sarutobi can call them to us. We can use the excuse by saying we want a meeting with each of the members of _Ne_. Now listen carefully to my story and which part you'll be playing. Only tou-san needs to know about this. Anko and Ibiki has enough experience to portray what they have to do. It's all up to you, Sandaime-_**sama**_, whether or not this scenario will work."

* * *

_Early next morning (0:30)_

A smug grin was plastered on Naruto's face as he leapt onto the window sill of his victim's bedroom. The window was already opened to his convenience due to the warm weather in Konoha. He pulled out a pill and slipped it into the slightly opened mouth of the lady that was lightly snoring and held a glove covered hand over her mouth until she swallowed it.

"Mmfph!" the woman's screams were muffled by the glove.

After seeing the woman swallowed the pill, Naruto released his hand and bounded the lady's arms with twine. His speed made it impossible for her to do anything during the time he took out the rope and getting to her hands. "Nuh-uh-uh" he shook a finger at her as she tried to yell. "Sorry, Nanase-san. It looks like you lost your voice at the wrong time."

Nanase's mouth was moving, but no sound came out. All she could do was stare angrily at the glowing lilac orbs that were flashing maliciously in the dark.

Naruto stretched leisurely. "The pill blocks your voice box for half an hour...but that's more than enough time for me" He paused and twisted both of her ankles. The cracking sound made him grin wider. "I can't have you running can I?' he drawled as tears rolled down his victim's face, mouth open in agony. "I hate to hurt an old lady, especially when you haven't done anything to _**me**_, but you're needed for something and we can't have you _**existing**_. Just know that Sandaime-sama is part of this. It's for the greater good, ne?"

That last thing Hasuo Nanase saw were black flames erupting from the blonde's hands.

Naruto chuckled silently as his fire turned the woman into ashes within seconds. _'You can thank me for making it as painless and quick as possible...Now, where to make a tombstone?'_

* * *

_Meeting with Ne (6:00)_

"Danzo" Sarutobi greeted as the man walked in, leaving the rest of his shinobi outside waiting in a line.

"Why have you called me here? Minato is not awake yet." Danzo narrowed his eyes in suspicion as he saw Ibiki and Anko with a young boy in the room. "This better not be one of your attempts in trying to persuade my shinobi to quit Root."

"I'm going to be evaluating each one of your members. I won't be doing anything of that sort" Sarutobi frowned. "By the way, Danzo. Do you remember this boy here?" he asked, waving a hand towards Naruto.

Danzo gave the boy sitting on the edge of the Hokage table a quick glance. "He looks familiar...but it cannot be who I think it is."

"Are you sure? Look carefully."

The leader of _Ne_ turned around only to find himself staring into hypnotic purple orbs. He found himself losing control and his mind emptied of any thoughts. A small part of his instincts told him that something was probing his mind, but he thought he imagined it.

Naruto gave a smug grin as he implanted false memories into the man. _**"You ordered Sai on the night of November 11th nine years ago to kill Hasuo Nanase and steal Namikaze Naruto. You've been training him for three years before the Sandaime found him and took him away. You've been in hiding since then."**_ After implanting the memories, Naruto left the mind of the man, but kept hold of his hypnosis. _**"You will return to your base after this, leaving your members for their evaluation."**_ With that, he released his hold on Danzo's mind.

The man shook his head, blinked twice before heading out the door without giving his shinobi a second glance.

"Sai, come in" Sarutobi called out.

A 15 year old teen walked in, closing the door behind him.

Naruto vanished and appeared behind the adolescent and tapped him on the shoulder, causing the _Ne_ member to turn around, getting caught in his eyes. He entered the teen's mind and implanted a separate set of memories before dismissing the shinobi.

This routine for the rest of the Root members was similar and it continued until it was almost time for the Yondaime to arrive to work.

"Quickly switch into your yutaka and take a nap" the blonde whispered after all the Root members left. He opened a scroll and took out his white yutaka and switched his clothing. He tore off the bandages around his Anbu tattoo before laying on the couch. The rest, after wearing their pajamas, took their position. Sarutobi slept with his head on his arms on the Hokage desk while Ibiki and Anko each took an armchair in the corner. Naruto made sure to make his yutaka as loose as possible without flashing everything.

The four drifted off waiting for the next part of their scheme to begin.

* * *

_Hokage Office (8:00)_

Minato sighed in relief when he found his son sleeping in his office. When he woke up this morning to check on Naruto, he found the boy's bed made and sheets unruffled. As he's the one who usually makes the boy's bed, this meant Naruto never came home to sleep. He tried checking the Hokage Mountain where he found the boy a few nights ago, but there was no left over chakra signifying that his son was there. He had headed towards his office, intent on calling his Anbu for a search party but upon opening the door, he found his son sleeping surrounded by the Sandaime, and his two...friends...He smiled as he watch the genin sleep peacefully before realizing that the boy's yutaka was nearly sliding off the child's form. He sighed and went over to tighten Naruto's yutaka, but upon reaching for the right sleeve, he spotted something black imprinted on the blonde's skin. _'A tattoo?'_ He looked closer and gasped. "What's the meaning of this?!"

Naruto snapped up at the wake up call and pulled his yutaka closer. "Hey, hey! This is taboo!" he cried as he shook his dad's hands off the front of his pajamas.

The other three also slowly woke themselves up.

"What is it, Minato?" Sarutobi questioned tiredly.

"I want to know why my son has an Anbu tattoo!" the livid Yondaime snarled. "Don't give me shit about it's marker drawn. You all know that the Anbu insignia is not to be given around carelessly!"

The Sandaime sighed. "I suppose you should take a seat. The story is quite...mind-boggling."

Minato was still huffing angrily, but took a seat in front of the Hokage desk as the Sandaime was still occupying his chair.

"It started nine years ago...It was two years after the Kyuubi attack and was also the year when Kushina died. Remember? That started your four year mourning period...where you hired Hasuo Nanase as Naruto's caretaker...but not months later, Danzo murdered the lady and kidnapped your son" the Third held up his hand to stop the fuming father from interrupting. "During your four year mourning, Danzo trained Naruto-kun as a _Ne_ member for three years. One of those years, the Kyuubi was forcefully merged into the boy. It was three days after your son's fifth birthday when I found him along with Anko and Ibiki. We couldn't allow him to return to you as a mindless killing machine, so we took a year to teach him and also initiate him into the Anbu corps as he already had the training. After that year, I told Naruto-kun to wear a genjutsu. The illusion was anchored to a seal that was imprinted on his forehead. Not only did it hide the changes due to the merging, but also blocked anything shinobi related that he learned. So during the academy days, he started like all those non-shinobi family children did. I suppose that during last month - the day of the genin exam - the genjutsu must've came undone."

"The seal was three layered - one for visual, one for mental, and another for emotional. As I was trained by Danzo, I had to use the seal to seal up my 'indifference'. Being a genin, I can't think that cold-blooded murder isn't scary. Because the seal was layered, in order to not overload my brain, it had to be undone one layer at a time. I used the _**Jikoku**_ (time) kanji in the second layer of the seal...it must've came undone by itself because of that. So when the anchor vanished, the genjutsu broke and all my memories came back to me _**all at once**_, sending me into a coma for a week" Naruto contributed.

"How come I don't know of this Hasuo Nanase person or that Naruto was kidnapped?" Minato narrowed his eyes. "I remember the years that I took leave of the Hokage position since Kushina died...but I'm sure I would've checked up on Naruto even if I hired a caretaker."

Sarutobi looked away warily. "You were drunk three-fourth of the time. There were times where an Anbu had to drag you back to your room after you passed out at the bar. The other fourth was spent on sleeping out hangovers. You never had the time to check up on your son."

"Where's Danzo and the caretaker's body?"

"Nanase's body was cremated. Her tombstone's in the Konoha Cemetery. As for Danzo, he went into hiding after we took Naruto out of Root" Ibiki informed.

"Why didn't you tell me immediately that Naruto joined the Anbu?"

The said preadolescent shrugged. "We never planned on telling you nor did we think the genjutsu was going to fail so early. We thought that we'll take the illusion off after fake version of me became an Anbu."

"Even if we did tell you, there was nothing you could've done" Anko pointed out. "We can't exactly go up to you and say that after your mourning your son had turned into a killing machine. We also had to keep him a year after rescuing him from Danzo to teach him emotions again...What do you think he'd be like if we just handed him over to you?"

"He probably wouldn't think of the Namikazes as family..." Minato answered after a moment of silence. Then he threw his arms around his son's waist and began wailing into the boy's shoulder, tears cascading down in waterfalls. "I'm so sorry, Naru-chan! I was such a bad father! I left you alone for four years and didn't even know that you were taken away!"

"This is taboo, I tell you! Taboo!" the younger blond cried as he waved his arms in the air.

"Taboo? What is?" the older blonde looked around confusedly.

"This is" Naruto replied, eyebrows ticking as he kept his father's head from coming closer with his index finger.

"Hugging you is taboo?" Minato raised an eyebrow. "It's purely platonic. As your father, I have the right to hold you!"

"Father?" a mock chuckle followed. "Parents aren't supposed to be playing favorites."

"When have I ever done that?"

"Where's Ami right now?"

"On her first C-rank mission..." the Hokage trailed off, not comprehending what that had to do with what they were saying before.

"And where were you going to send me?"

"On your list of D-rank...oh" Minato grinned sheepishly. "But you should be happy that I care more of your safety!"

"Babying him won't do him any good" Sarutobi interrupted. "Especially when he's an Anbu already."

"Ah...all his skills are going to rust" Anko added in a sing-song voice.

The Yondaime looked torn. _'If I send Naru-chan out on a C-rank mission, he might get hurt...but then I'll be considered unfair if I don't...'_

-_Poof-_

The small puff of smoke that erupted in the middle of the Hokage table startled the older blond from his reverie.

"Hmm...Kakashi's nin-dog, Pakkun..." Sarutobi informed. "Looks like your daughter's in trouble..."

Stricken with fear, Minato quickly prodded the animal for answers.

"Team 7 received a mis-ranked mission. Apparently their client, Tazuna-san, lied about the mission. They bumped into two C-rank missing-nin, the Demon Brothers who tried to off Tazuna-san. Gatou, the tyrant that overtook Wave, paid several missing-nin to assassinate the bridge builder. Wave's an archipelago, meaning it needs it's ports for trade...but those are being monopolized by the tyrant. So Wave's more like Hobo Village. Tazuna-san's building a bridge to continue trade...and in order to prevent that, Gatou needs him dead." Pakkun reported before disappearing.

"Looks like we got ourselves a mission" Naruto smirked at Anko.

"No way!" Minato immediately refused. "The mission is no longer a C-rank mission!"

"Who are you kidding?" the younger Namikaze questioned with disbelief. "I'm not a genin. I thought we made clear of that! Child of yours or not, I think it's degrading for an Anbu to be restricted from going on missions higher than C-rank."

The Hokage sighed. "Naru...why are you so persistent in sending yourself to your death?"

The others in the room raised their eyebrows.

"That's what a shinobi is for. They're a tool for their village and dying is merely a part of their life. _**Why**_would I be _**scared**_ of death? In fact, the exhilaration that comes with being face to face with death is what makes me _**want**_ to go into battle" a maniacal glint appeared in the boy's eyes as his face was morphed into one of ecstasy. "The adrenaline that courses through your veins when you get wounded creates a sense of _**euphoria**_. The quick thinking that's involved when outnumbered and surrounded or outclassed is _**gratifying**_. And then after all of that..." Naruto's lips pulled into a crazy grin. "After all of that, when you realize that you're the last one standing and has escaped death...it's _**pure bliss**_."

Anko and Ibiki looked as excited as their friend while the Yondaime seemed uneasy at the ardent explanation of risking one's life. Sarutobi, who was used to this behavior, merely sighed and shook his head.

"Besides, it's that time of the month" the fake genin muttered irritably.

This caused Minato to gasp in shock. "What time of the month?! The last time I checked, you were a guy!"

An eyebrow ticked. "No, you pervert! I'm still 100 percent male!"

"Oh...right" Sarutobi snapped his fingers in understanding. "Though the 100 percent male part could still be debatable..." he mumbled to himself. He glanced up and began to explain to the confused Yondaime. "For some reason, during Naruto's training with Danzo, he acquired an unhealthy sense of bloodlust. And usually, to satiate the thirst, Anko, Ibiki, and him would err...go on an A to S-rank mission every month that requires killing..._**a lot**_ of killing."

"You always look out for my interests. Right, tou-san?" Naruto asked. "It's a habit...and usually, when I don't get my usual monthly dose of bloodshed...it won't be enemies I'm getting it from anymore."

As the Hokage, Minato had to protect his village...and allowing his son to massacre civilians would get him kicked out of Konoha. "Very well. You may go meet up with Kakashi and Itachi's team. However, I hope you will care enough to watch out for the other team and not just your desires. I _**do not**_ want you to return and tell me that you've murdered Team 7 along with your..."

"Toys?" Naruto finished innocently.

"Yes.." the Fourth frowned at his son's description of his enemies. "Whatever you call them. Just remember to report back _**with **_the other Team in tow."

"Hai, hai" Team 9 chirped. "Ibiki can come too? He's also part of this habitual routine."

The Yondaime groaned. "Yes, do whatever you want" he waved them off, feeling a headache coming from all the things he learned about his son in just 15 minutes.

Sandaime merely shook his head in sympathy. _'That won't be the most shocking thing you'll discover...'_

* * *

**A/N: **Woot! I managed to finish this chapter a day before my set deadline! I promised that I'll have this chapter out by the end of this month, so here it is! This chapter's more like a filler...it's just used to link the third chapter to the Wave Country Arc events in the next chapter (here's a small spoiler for the next chapter if you haven't figured it out yet. xD). I hope it wasn't too boring. This chapter came out better than I thought a linking chapter would though.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: **Of Wind and Fire

**Disclaimer: **Anything that seems familiar belongs to their respective creators.

* * *

_**Chapter 5**_

* * *

Tsunami whimpered as she stared wide-eyed at the man at her door. The man was tall and intimidating with scars stretching across his face. His dull black orbs followed her as she began to slowly stumble backwards. It was early in the morning - a little before her guests would wake. She had been planning on making breakfast when someone knocked on her door. Now, she wondered why she didn't wait until one of the ninjas in her house to get it. She didn't dare to scream, fearing that if she made a sound, he would attack her.

"Hey! What do you want?!" the blond girl lodging at her place whispered harshly, coming over from where she was tiptoeing to. She was a genin, if Tsunami remembered correctly.

The man at the door merely raised an eyebrow.

"Go away! I'm a kunoichi!" the genin ordered.

The two female in the house jumped in shock when a red-streaked-blond popped his head up from behind the man's shoulder.

"Urusei (Shut up), Ami, and let us in" the boy mumbled sleepily. "It's a wonder -yawn- how you became a shinobi when you didn't even notice that Ibiki-chan has a Konoha hitai-ate." He yawned again, blinking as his eyes got adjusted to the light.

Tsunami watched as the man, now known as Ibiki, enter, just realizing that the blond boy was being carried in. She was about to close the door when a purple-haired lady followed in. "Ano...I do not have any more rooms. There is an empty mattress in one of the rooms your fellow shinobi are sleeping in, but it can only fit two of you," she informed, eyes roving over her three new visitors.

"What are you doing up so early, aneki (older sister)?" the boy questioned, climbing down from the tall man's back. "Going to watch Ita-chan sleep?"

"What are you talking about, Naruto?" the older blond snapped, eyes darting towards the room her crush was in.

"Whatever you say..." Naruto sighed, walking tiredly towards the room Ami glanced at. "Anko-chan can share with Ibiki-chan."

"Hey! Where are you going?!" the genin demanded.

"To sleep" her younger brother smirked before closing the door lightly behind him.

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Itachi's eyes snapped open when he felt a soft body against his. He sensed Ami watching him for the past two days as he slept, but she wouldn't risk touching him. Therefore, the person beside him can't be her. The person who had slipped into bed next to him hid his or her chakra signature well. He didn't know someone had snuck into his room until that person was in his bed. He turned his head to the side and found himself looking at golden strands highlighted with ruby streaks. _'It's Naruto-kun then...'_ He frowned, wondering why he would be here until he remembered that Kakashi had sent for backup. Team 9 was their endorsement, it seems. A soft purr startled him out of his thoughts and he became conscious of the boy snuggling up against him, his head (Naruto's) tucked under his (Itachi's) chin. Itachi's lips thinned and was about to get up and leave the bed when his eyes caught the dark bags underneath the younger male's eyes. _'They must've skipped out on sleep to reach here in two days (instead of five) after they got the message.'_ Deciding that it would be cruel of him to wake Naruto up when Team 9 came to their aid, he sighed and got comfortable. He couldn't distinguish when he drifted off, the warmth beside him lulling him to sleep.

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"Aww, look how cute" Kakashi cooed, as he entered the room his fellow instructor was sleeping in. Naruto was curled up against Itachi's chest, looking adorable with his hands clutching to the older male's night shirt and hair splayed out. Itachi had his chin on the blond's head and an arm thrown over the boy's waist as if to keep the warm body close.

It was sudden when the blond's eyes snapped open and Kakashi found himself tangled up in shinobi wires. _'What happened?_' the jounin's mind was racing at the possibilities. _'He just woke up...and I'm already tied up.'_

"Oh...it's just you" Naruto muttered irritably. He was sleeping quite nicely when he heard someone laughing. He slipped out of the older Uchiha's hold and stretched. "Good morning" he chirped, his lilac eyes glinting amusedly.

"Ohayo to you too, Naruto" the silver haired jounin greeted awkwardly, not knowing how to act at the quick change of mood. "When did you place a trap in front of the door?" he raised an eyebrow. He didn't sense any trouble when he was standing there just watching Itachi and Naruto sleep.

"Trap? What trap?" the younger Namikaze tilted his head in confusion.

"Why am I caught in wires then?" the jounin gritted out, getting impatient and wanting to get out of his mess.

"Oh" a sheepish grin stretched across the preadolescent's face. "It's an instinctual habit of mine...I don't like people waking me up, so I keep nin-wires with me." he answered, withholding some information.

The silver-haired man merely grunted as the boy unraveled the thin, yet sturdy strings.

Itachi, who woke up at the commotion, watch absorbed as the 'genin' maneuver the ninja-wires expertly like a puppeteer; each string unraveling itself from Kakashi's body with a graceful flick of a wrist.

"I call the bathroom first!" Naruto said cheerfully as he walked into the bathroom to wash up.

When the door to the washroom closed, the Hatake turned to Itachi who was still in bed. "So, how was he like?"

The raven arched an eyebrow. "Quiet."

"Eh?!" Kakashi gasped. "No moan, groans, grunts, screams, yells, cries, nothing?"

Itachi shook his head hesitantly wondering what was going through the older shinobi's head. _'He didn't have any nightmares...'_

"Maybe you weren't good enough" the other man hummed thoughtfully. "You slept longer than you usually did. Tired?"

"He was warm."

"Ohoho! He must've been tight, ne?" Kakashi giggled perversely.

A look of disgust flashed across Itachi's face before it turned blank again. "Get your mind out of the gutter. We were only sleeping."

"Maa...I was just teasing, don't get so worked up" the older male held up his hands in surrender.

"Let's go. Breakfast would be starting soon."

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By the time Itachi got out of the showers, everyone was seated at the table. He took the empty seat in between Ami and Kakashi. His eyes roved around the table, orbs landing on the man between Team 9's instructor and Naruto. "Ibiki-san...why are you here?"

"Hanging out with Anko and Naruto" came the short reply as the interrogator picked up his bowl again.

Nobody spoke, only sounds of chopsticks clinking against the bowls and chewing broke the silence.

"Why are there more of you! All of you are going to die no matter what!" Inari burst out angrily. "Gatou's going to kill all of you!"

Naruto blinked, before taking a large piece of fried salmon and placing it on the boy's half-finished bowl of rice. "Here."

"I don't want it! Are you listening to me, you idiot?!" the boy shouted.

Ami snickered at her brother being insulted. "Yeaaa, baka."

Naruto blinked again before picking up more fish and placing it on the boy's plate. "Here, you can have my portion too." He picked up the piece in his bowl and stacked it on top of the pile of fish already in Inari's bowl.

Anko and Ibiki chortled when they caught on to the insult.

"Are you deaf?" Inari's face was red from anger.

"Nope. I'm merely helping you" Naruto grinned, the slight edge in his smile caused Team 7's instructors to be on guard. "Don't you know? Fish is supposed to make you smarter. Finish it all, hopefully you'll gain a brain."

At that, Kakashi couldn't help but chuckle. Ami and Sakura giggled while Sasuke smirked. Itachi had a miniscule smile tugging at the corners of his lips while Tsunami and Tazuna (Inari's grandfather) were appalled by the insult. Inari held back tears as he ran to his room.

"You shouldn't have said that, Naruto" the silver-haired jounin sighed. "That was rude."

"Rude?" Naruto snorted. "I wasn't the one laughing."

"He's just a boy. He also lost his father to Gatou. It is understandable that he's disillusioned and doesn't believe we can help the country. You wouldn't understand."

Anko and Ibiki exchanged worried glances. Back in their dimension, Naruto had no one until they came. But then, it was too late. The boy became cold, sarcastic, and biting. Even after they've gotten him out of his shell, those traits remained. In this dimension, while he still has his father, it doesn't change the fact that he's experienced being an orphan - hated and despised. He's had harsher life than most of the older ninjas in the village.

The room seemed to drop a few degrees as the eleven-year-old's face turned cold. Glacial orbs glared at the only visible eye Kakashi had. "Oh?" the boy drawled. "And I suppose you do? After all, your father went and off-ed himself for protecting his teammates instead of finishing the mission for the village."

"Don't you dare bring my father into this!" the man snarled, getting angry.

"Why not?" the other hissed. "I have no mother, you have no parents. He loses his father and you allow him to sulk? You've gotten lax, Hatake. Pathetic." The sudden burst of killing intent had everyone frozen in their seats. "Let's go, Anko, Ibiki. Being in their presence makes me sick."

* * *

Team 7 had spent most of the morning training. Today was the day Zabuza and the fake hunter are going to be at the bridge after all. Kakashi had been in an irritable mood, making them work even harder. When they returned, Team 9 and Ibiki were speaking quietly on the couch. Itachi could see that the younger Namikaze was still annoyed. _'Kakashi, you fool. You forgot who you're dealing with. It wouldn't be a surprise if you got stripped of your position when you get back. Hokage-sama will not be pleased.'_

"We're leaving for the bridge" Kakashi snapped, turning to walk back out. The rest of Team 7 followed.

Anko and Ibiki glanced at each other. "There's gonna be a blood bath today..." Anko murmured sadly. She had wanted to play around with the victims first. "Damn Kakashi for angering him."

"Come on, you two" a malicious smirk appeared on Naruto's face and bloodlust began filling the room.

They raced out of the house with Naruto in the lead. Anko and Ibiki had to enhance their legs with chakra to keep up. The three of them passed the other team that was walking leisurely, keeping watch on Tazuna who was going to continue building the bridge.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Who the hell are you three?!" Zabuza demanded when he realized that the three in front of him weren't the ones he fought with two weeks ago.

"An A-rank nuke-nin, eh? And two Anbu can't defeat him?" Naruto scowled, ignoring the man. "But then again, that boot-licking fucker's turned motherly. I would take it up to Kakashi to finish such an easy mission."

"Where --" Zabuza began, but was cut off.

"Shut up! You can kick that bastard's ass when he gets here. Just stay quiet until then!"

As if on cue, Team 7 arrived.

"Zabuza..." Kakashi narrowed his eyes.

"Kakashi" the man replied.

"Quit with the dramatics and just kill each other already" Anko huffed. _'Where are the people? If Naru-chan doesn't get rid of his anger, he's going to attack us until he's tired...or until we're all unconscious.'_

"I agree! Why haven't you killed the old geezer yet, Zabuza?!" an arrogant voice sounded from near the end of the bridge.

The mist cleared and revealed a fat and short man surrounded by thugs and nuke-nins.

"Looks like we no longer have to fight each other" the nuke-nin told the Konoha nin.

"Demon of the mist? More like a baby!" Gatou roared with laughter along with his hired guards.

"How corny" a chillingly cold voice drawled. "But then again, a glob of lard wouldn't be able to think up passable insults."

Gatou turned towards the speaker, face turning prune in anger. "How dare you insult me, brat!"

Naruto smirked nastily. "Brat? Is that all you could do?"

"Stop goading him, Naruto" Itachi ordered, hoping that the man wouldn't send his goons after the boy. It seems like lady luck isn't on his side, because that's exactly what Gatou did.

"Get him!" the business man snarled.

A maniacal glint appeared in the Namikaze boy's eyes as the men began rushing towards him. A purr escaped his lips as he took out two kunai. "Our toys are coming" he whispered to Anko and Ibiki yet loud enough for the others to hear.

"You think he'll be okay?" Zabuza raised an eyebrow. Even his apprentice can't kill all of those thugs...especially when there are a few chunin ranked nuke-nin amongst them. He decided that it was the wrong question to ask when the massac-er-battle began.

Team 7, Tazuna, along with Zabuza and Haku, Zabuza's accomplish, watched aghast as blood began to spray near them and things that shouldn't be seen out of a human body began flying.

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Naruto had a permanent smirk on his face as he diced up the thug in front of him before turning around to play with another. His speed allowed him to avoid all the attacks as well as quickly finish his opponent before another could get to him. His eyes glinted as he headed towards his next prey. Naruto didn't have to turn to know that Anko and Ibiki were also coated in blood.

The blond reveled in the horrified look plastered on his next victim. It reminded him of why he enjoyed being an Anbu - the right to murder nuke-nin without consequences. His kunai slid easily between the man's ribcage. With a quick yank upwards, the missing-nin's entrails could be seen spilling out. Naruto winced slightly when he heard a splat. It seems like the man just lost some organs. He twirled his two daggers professionally, arms moving rapidly as he minced the man. He moved on, not checking to see how many pieces his victim fell apart into. His eyes closed in bliss as blood splattered onto his face, coating his hair and part of his face in the warm red liquid. He kept his eyes shut as he allowed his instincts to guide him. Left. Left. Forward. Spin. Backwards. His foot moved in quick succession as he twirled around another victim, his body twisting to avoid straying weapons.

When the sound of fighting and screaming stopped, Naruto paused in his dance. His orbs remained hidden under his lids as he breathed in the coppery scent of blood.

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Gatou looked on terrified as his henchmen were all assassinated in mere minutes. The blond that he wanted dead for insulting him, stood there with a satisfied look on his face. His legs shook and he was too scared to move, afraid that it might catch the attention of the blond. His eyes darted towards the boy's teammates. They were standing on the side sticking kunai into any holes they could find. He cringed when the purple-haired kunoichi shoved a kunai up a dead man's ass while cackling. His breath got caught in his throat as the blond slowly opened his eyes. The abnormal lilac orbs stared at him haughtily, daring him to run. And he did.

"AhhHHhhhHHhhhHh!" he screamed as he scampered to the edge of the unfinished bridge where his boat was docked.

He shrieked when he bumped into someone and landed on his bottom.

"Where do you think you're going, piggy?" the blond drawled, glaring down at him.

"I'll do anything!" Gatou stuttered, "just let me go. Please! What do you want? I'll get you whatever you want!"

_Slap!_

Naruto slapped the man, an amused look plastered on his face as he watched the red imprint form on the man's tanned skin. The bruise was starting to turn into a sickly prune color dotted with red and ringed with pus yellow. "You didn't answer my question."

"'m thorry (I'm sorry)! 'm thorry (I'm sorry)!" the older male wailed pitifully, his swollen cheek making it hard for him to speak.

"Naru-chan. Let me play with him" a nauseatingly sweet voice interrupted.

The boy stared at the speaker judgingly, assessing whether or not he should give away his victim. His foot shot out as Gatou tried to crawl away, knocking the man back towards Team 7 without breaking from his staring contest with Anko. After a few more seconds, he turned his focus to the whimpering man on the floor. A smirk bloomed across his features as he took a step forwards, eliciting a sob from Gatou who was trapped between Team 7 and him. He stretched out an arm and was about to pick the man up when arms wrapped around him, stopping him from moving his arms as well as lifting him slightly off the floor to keep him from stomping on his trapper's feet.

"Anko-san, Ibiki-san, take the man" Itachi ordered, keeping a firm grasp on the blond in his arms.

The two people nodded their thanks, eyes glinting excitedly as they dragged Gatou towards the end of the bridge for their...fun.

"I didn't know you loved me that much" Naruto stated deadpanned, not in the mood to play flirty when his toy got taken away.

"I'll let you go when you settle down" the Uchiha replied calmly.

"You're getting your clothes dirty, Itachi-sama!" Ami screeched, seeing the blood soak into the man's clothes. "Put that trash down!"

"You heard her" Naruto added lazily as he watched his friend play around with Gatou. He had stopped trying to squirm out of the Uchiha's hold when he realized that he was brushing up against the man every time he moved. "I _**am**_ getting your clothes dirty, Itachi-_**sama**_. I never toke you for someone who would hug trash..."

An eyebrow rose. "You just called yourself trash" the older Uchiha pointed out.

The boy in his arms shrugged. "Been called worst. I'm surprised you're not calling me anything else after seeing the slaughter. You loved it didn't you, you closet sadist?"

"You're not a genin" Zabuza declared matter-of-factly. Eyes boring into the teen.

"Oh?" Naruto titled his head questioningly as he was slowly being released from Itachi's hold.

"There were chunins in that group you killed" the missing-nin informed, causing the genin of Team 7 to gasp.

"Eh? I guess being angry makes me stronger..." the blond blinked as if just realizing that he fought ninjas of higher rank than him. _'Fool. I can kill you too.'_

Zabuza's eyes narrowed at the confused act. _'That brat is hiding something. There's no way you can murder a group of people stronger than you even if you were angry. One, you're outclassed. Two, you're outnumbered. And three, you're surrounded.'_

"My speed helps I guess..." Naruto added thoughtfully.

"How did you get so fast?" Sasuke demanded.

"From running" a wistful smile appeared on the boy's face. "Away from bakers with their rolling pins, old ladies with their canes, farmers with their pitchforks, cooks with their frying pans, women with their rotten vegetables, etc."

The younger Uchiha frowned. "What did you do to get the villagers angry at you?"

"Nothing."

Sasuke growled. "Stop joking around!"

"Oh, and shinobi with bad tempers" the blond snickered before heading off towards his instructor and friend. He ignored the eyes drilling into his back.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Kakashi frowned as he watched the Hokage's son walk towards Anko and Ibiki. _'Did the villagers really do that behind Yondaime-sama's back? Minato-sama had made sure that his son was safe. In fact, I believe he's more protective of Naruto than Ami because of the Kyuubi. Why hasn't he told his father about the beatings?'_ Kakashi hummed thoughtfully as he pretended to be interested in the porn book in his hands. His eyes widened slightly when a thought came to his mind. _'Maybe he tried, but Hokage-sama didn't believe him? The villagers know full well that Minato-sama loves the village. Did they do it because they know that Minato won't believe that the villagers would attack his son? Perhaps Naruto being the dead last in class was an added bonus...?'_ He snapped out of his thinking when Zabuza's apprentice spoke.

"Should we leave, Zabuza-san?" Haku questioned. He followed his mentor's line of sight when the man wouldn't move. _'What's so interesting about that guy? I mean Zabuza murdered his classmates before he was a genin...so why?'_ He pursed his lips in annoyance, grabbing a handful of senbon. With a flick of his wrist, Haku sent the needles towards Naruto. _'Hmph. I'll show Zabuza-san that he's not worth the time.'_ However, what he didn't know was his plan is bound to fail.

Naruto chuckled darkly when he felt the anger directed towards him by the boy dressed as a fake hunter-nin. His hands darted out rapidly behind him as he caught the senbon tossed at him. His hand movements were too quick to distinguish and all the observers saw was Naruto sticking his hand out near his weapon pouch. "Here, guys!" He chirped loudly. "I brought senbon. They're skinnier and we can fit in more!"

Haku gritted his teeth when he saw his attack get stopped. He didn't even get to reveal the boy's "real" (if there was one) identity should his assault not work.

"Haku" Zabuza murmured quietly to his apprentice. "Did you throw those senbon?"

The brunette looked away in shame. "Hai."

"Let's go. That just proved my point. He's not someone we should mess with."

"Hey! Where are you guys going?!" Ami shouted, pointing a finger at them.

"Our employer is dead. We're finished here" the ex-mist jounin answered, turning to walk away.

"Dead? We don't kill our victims" Ibiki laughed, causing the nuke-nins to turn.

"Tada!" Naruto sang out, holding up Gatou who was very much alive.

Anko grinned maniacally as she shoved the last senbon into the man. "A human pincushion. A live one too."

Indeed, Gatou's eyeballs were rolling around frantically as his lids were held open with senbon.

"Here, ya go mister" Naruto placed a kunai in the man's hand. "My present for you."

Gatou gave a last hopeless look before stabbing the weapon into his heart, slumping to the floor dead.

"Hmm...I find it hilarious how every victim kills themselves when we give them a kunai instead of attacking us for a chance to be free..." Anko held her chin in a thinking pose.

"Naruto, I hope you know that everything that's happened during this mission will be reported to your father" Kakashi informed, eyes scanning for any sign of discomfort.

A shrug was his reply. "Don't care. Tell dad whatever you want. I'm content...I'm _full_."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Chapter five is finished! Haku is kinda bashed in this chapter...I did it cause I needed it for the story (he might or might not appear later on), not because I don't like him. :x. Anyways, the "fish makes you smarter" thing...I'm not sure if it's true or not. My parents keep telling me that, but then it could be because they want me to eat fish...

I'm also going to China tomorrow...and won't be near a computer for two weeks. So that means I can't start on the next chapter. T-T. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed it!


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: **Of Wind and Fire

**Disclaimer: **Anything that seems familiar belongs to their respective creators.

* * *

_**Chapter 6**_

* * *

_Amegakure (In the dimension Naruto left)..._

"How clever" Madara murmured as he scanned the newly finished scroll on his desk. It took him nearly a month to figure out what was written on the ruined scroll Zetsu found. He had to study Naruto's handwriting, examining the depth of each stroke in order to piece each kanji together. His sharingan spun rapidly as he reread the letter the runaway blond wrote. "A useless message as a safeguard...no wonder there are so little seals to perform for such a complicated technique. The letter itself forms a seal. The handseals are merely to create a link between the people Naruto-kun wanted to bring along. He must've bound them through their special Anbu insignia" he mumbled to himself. "Pein!"

The orange-haired co-leader of the Akatsuki entered the room. A glance at the scroll in the man's hands told him what he needed to know." Completed it, Madara-sama?"

"Gather your belongings" the Uchiha smirked maliciously. "Return immediately."

Pein bowed. He shivered slightly when he was out of the leader's presence. When Madara is happy, someone is bound to get hurt. And currently, he's _**ecstatic**_. He arrived just in time to see Ami cowering in front of Madara with a small sack presumed to be the items the Uchiha will be bringing with him.

"S-Should I go p-pack my b-belongings too?" the woman stuttered, handing over the luggage.

"No" the raven retorted. "You're free. Leave."

"I'm not going with you?"

"You're useless. I have no reason to bring you" Madara sneered. "Get out."

"No!" Ami cried, crawling up to her husband and grabbing his cloak. "Let me go with you! We're supposed to be together as you vowed! You're mine!" she sobbed hysterically, frantically tugging on Madara's cloak.

The Uchiha's eyes sparkled malevolently. "Then you can consider this a divorce. The only one who will be at my side is Naruto."

Deciding that this was a good time to make his entrance, Pein stepped further into the room. "Shall we leave, Madara-sama?"

The Uchiha waved him over, taking a ring out of his pocket and slipping it on his ring finger. "Have your Akatsuki ring on you. Place a drop of blood on the scroll before performing the jutsu."

Seconds later, the two men vanished in a blinding white light, leaving Ami as their only witness.

"You vowed to be by my side for eternity...vowed that we will be happy together" Ami whispered sadly, curling into a fatal position on the ground. "You're supposed to love me, Madara. You left my brother for me, you can't have him back! You're mine now..._**mine**_!"

* * *

Naruto glanced down at the silver band around his right ring finger when he felt it heat up. _'An omen?!' _He sneaked a peek at Anko and Ibiki, sighing in relief when they didn't notice his discomfort. _'This ring was the one Madara gave me...'_ He held back a gasp, eyes going wide. _'Could it be that he figured it out? No...he __**must**__ have...else it wouldn't be him - Possessive and obsessive like all Uchihas. I shouldn't be surprised...should've known that he would go great lengths trying to find ways to get something he can't. Maybe I shouldn't have made that letter into a backup for incase the binding technique doesn't work...It's too big a clue. I acted too brashly and forgot to remove anything that could lead to me.'_ He bit his lip as he followed Team 7 and his friends back to Konoha. _'I'll have to tell the others and Sarutobi-jiji about this before it gets out of hand. I'll tell them before the chunin exams.'_

"Daijoubu ka (Are you okay), Naruto-kun?" Itachi questioned. His face was blank but his eyes were sparkling with mirth as the boy's head snapped up. He had been watching the blond frown since the beginning of their trip back from Nami (Wave).

"Huh? Oh. Yeah, I'm fine" the fake-genin waved a hand distractedly. "Just thinking."

"Of what?" the Uchiha raised an eyebrow curiously.

"If your father would allow you to marry Ami."

"And why would I propose to her?"

"To get her off my back" Naruto grinned impishly. "If she marries into your family, she'll be living with you. Plus, I won't have to put up with her attitude and her perverted dreams where she's screaming your name at night."

Itachi sweatdropped before smirking. "What if my father decides you're the better candidate?"

"That would never happen" Naruto replied with an air of finality. "I'll make sure it won't." He gave the silver ring he wore a look out of the corner of his eyes. _'That can't happen because I won't allow it. And if __**he's **__really here, he'll __**murder**__ you...'_

"How far are you into your plan?" the sharingan user asked.

"Bleh...I only have ideas...but..." Lilac orbs lit up. "If I use your mom, it might just work."

"What are you going to do with my mother?" a dangerous edge entered Itachi's voice.

"Nothing. She'll be the one to persuade your dad."

"There's always the possibility she'll chose you instead of your sister" the Anbu pointed out.

"You're oddly interested in this" the Namikaze edged away suspiciously. "You're not actually deciding to pick one of us, are you?"

The older male shrugged. "You're giving me more choices. Of the three I am to pick from, the two you gave are the better of three evils."

"Oh...your parents must've tried to arrange a marriage for you" Naruto assumed, humming thoughtfully. "So who could be worst than the two dead-last of the rookies this year? A Hyuuga? They _**are**_ your clan's rivals...or maybe an Inuzuka? Nah...they're too mangy like their mutts. They probably weren't even considered..."Naruto's face was contorted into one of horror when another name popped into his head. "Sasuke?! Are your family members resorting to incest to keep us _**commoners**_ from contaminating _**the**_ Uchiha blood?!"

Itachi looked away embarrassed.

"It is, isn't it?!" the eleven-year-old exclaimed.

"No, it's not" the raven sighed. "They're planning on sending me to the monastery because I haven't shown any interest in having a relationship. Apparently, it's their way of forcing me to get a spouse."

Naruto blinked...and blinked again. "So...they thought you're asexual but you're actually sexually deprived enough to not care if you're gonna get married to one of the two idiots of this year's genin class..." he summed up.

A strangled 'No' came from Itachi. "Being a monk means I have to give up my profession as a shinobi."

"Uh...so it's all about your manliness and maintaining your cool ninja job?"

A vein ticked on the other male's forehead. "Would you please stop twisting the meaning of my words?" he gritted out.

"Changing the meaning? Whatever do you mean?" Naruto huffed. "I'm merely restating what was implied! Oh...I forgot to add that the marriage also means you'll have someone that'll spread your legs for you. Don't you just _**love**_ that added bonus?" He laughed when the normally composed man snapped, running from the angry Anbu. He darted past a curious Ibiki who had been talking to Anko and leapt over Team 7, zigzagging between trees. Five minutes later, he allowed himself to be caught. His legs were tied up and his arms were bound behind him. He was then lifted up and tossed over a broad shoulder. "Heehee. Anko-chan! Ibiki-chan! You guys are upside down!"

"What did you do, Naru-chan?" the kunoichi implored, amused.

"I think I pissed him off!" he shouted back, swinging his head to indicate to his captor.

"No shit" Ibiki rolled his eyes. Anyone could read the older Uchiha and figure out that the teen is annoyed. The raven's lips were pulled into a thin line, his eyes cold while his face was stony. "What did you say to get him so riled up?"

"Oh. I just poked fun of how he's desperate enough to marry a Namikaze just to avoid getting sent to a monastery" the fake-genin informed casually. "Now that I think about it...I'm scared, Ibiki-chan!"

The head interrogator raised an eyebrow.

"I think I'm most likely gonna be chosen!" Naruto wailed. "I mean what captor would carry their prey on their shoulder?! They either leave them behind or drag them on the floor!" At that, he was dropped unceremoniously on the ground. "Oof! Itai (ouch)...ooh, it's gonna bruise. Daddy's gonna get angry" he mumbled, lying on the ground.

Itachi growled, walking over to release the Hokage's son from his bindings as well as picking the boy up by the arm. As soon as the blond was on his feet, he escaped the Uchiha's hold and hid behind Ibiki's large frame.

"I don't want you to carry me anymore!" Naruto yelled. "Can't trust you to not drop me again." He then hopped in front of the scarred man, holding both of his arms up. "Up!" he chirped.

Ibiki sighed and lifted the Namikaze onto his shoulder.

Naruto swing his legs happily, blowing a raspberry in the direction of the older Uchiha. "Really, 'Tachi. There's something called a brothel. That way you won't have to get saddled with either one of us" he called out, smirking when he caught the man twitch.

"This is your chance to get rid of Ami" Anko noted.

"Yup. I haven't had a good night's sleep because of her dreams!" the ex-jinchuriki exclaimed. "I wasn't joking about it!" he huffed indignant. "I mean how am I gonna sleep when someone next door's screaming _'Faster, Itachi-sama!'_, _'It's too thick, it won't fit!'_, _'Ahhhh, Itachi-sama!'_ yady-yady-ya" he mimicked with a high pitched voice. "I'm too scared to go wake her up cuz she might be touching herself, who knows?!"

Anko and Ibiki snorted as Itachi's cheeks were dusted with a light blush.

"So if you, Uchiha, marry my sister, it'll benefit everyone" Naruto nodded his head sagely. "I can finally sleep, she'll get her dream husband, and you'll get a whor - ahem - bed partner as well as avoiding the monastery."

"We'll see when we arrive back in Konoha" the raven replied calmly. "If it means I can get back at you, I'll try my best to make sure the one I'm married to is _**you**_."

"Waii! Ita-kun's scary!" the Yondaime's youngest child cried out, a large grin on his face. "Try your best, ne?" The smile morphed into a malicious smirk seconds later. _'Someone like you who's only been in the shinobi profession won't have enough experience to outwit me - who has to understand the human psyche to survive. Playing with people's emotions is almost like a natural talent to me. Tearing people's mind apart is child's play. You might have a sense of honor to not play dirty...but I certainly don't. If things come to worst, I'll just hypnotize your family. Uchiha with good control over the mind or not, even Madara can't break away that easily. You can't win this round.'_

* * *

"Naru! How did you get this bruise?!" Minato gasped, gently prodding the small black and blue spot on his son's back.

Kakashi sweatdropped. "Minato-sama...did you even listen to my report? I'm actually on time too."

"Of course, of course" the Yondaime answered offhandedly. He took a large glob of healing salve and plopped it on the bruise before covering it with a large band-aid. "How did you get this bruise?" he demanded again.

"Itachi was too weak to carry me and dropped me" Naruto pouted. He shot a victory sign at the older Uchiha when his dad rounded on the man.

"You dropped my baby?!" the angry father snarled.

Itachi glared at the red-streaked blond, backing away slowly from the Fourth Hokage.

"Wait, daddy!" Ami cried out. "Naruto must've done something to annoy Itachi-sama. Itachi-sama is an Anbu. He can't be weak."

"That's true..." Minato scratched his head sheepishly. "What happened, Naru?"

"Eh?! I was laughing at him for being to shy to propose to nee-chan. Then he got angry at me" Naruto faked teary eyes, causing his dad to hug him tight.

"Say...I should go ask Fugaku about an arranged marriage then" the Hokage mumbled.

Itachi glared harder at Naruto.

"My little girl's going to get engaged!" the Yondaime cheered. "I'm going to go talk this through with your parents now, Itachi."

Ami sneered at her brother. "You hear that, _**otouto**_? I'm going to be an Uchiha. If you're nice, I might let you be my personal servant."

"Watch your attitude, _**aneki**_" Naruto drawled smugly, "Lest your future husband might not pick you after all."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Itachi and Ami?" Fugaku raised an eyebrow.

"Hai. Naruto mentioned that Itachi had wished to propose to her" Minato informed.

"Is that right, dear?" Mikoto asked her eldest child.

Itachi shook his head. "I did not specifically state that it's Ami."

"But it's me you want, right?" Ami batted her eyelashes coquettishly.

Naruto wanted to bang his head on the table. _'You fool! Stop making yourself look like a prostitute!'_ he screamed mentally. Luckily for him, Ami stopped when Mikoto eyed her weirdly.

"Arranging a marriage between our clans would be beneficial to both of us" the Uchiha head said pensively. "But wouldn't having our heirs marry be fairer? If you give us your daughter, she'll be an Uchiha and no longer a Namikaze."

"Ah, but with me, you cannot have anymore heirs unless Sasuke gets with a female" Naruto informed, tossing all professional conduct out of the window. "If Itachi-san is to marry Ami, you can guarantee to have a grandchild."

"That is a good point, anata (dear)" Mikoto murmured to her husband. "I want to be a grandma."

"There's always adoption, mother" Itachi interrupted.

"But that child will not be an Uchiha by blood. There will be no chance of that child having the sharingan" the Namikaze heir shot back.

"Sasuke's child will be" the raven retorted, leaning over the table, face a feet away from the preadolescent's.

"And should he not marry a female?"

"Children would not matter in a clan alliance through marriage."

"I suppose not" abnormally colored orbs hardened. "But it would tarnish the Uchiha name. A tensai and the dead last? You'll be a laughing stock. Really...the clan's reputation should be prioritized over your grudge. Dropping me isn't enough, is it?"

"Grudge? Uchihas do not hold grudges. Dropping you was an accident on my fault. It shouldn't matter what others think about who I marry. According to the statistics, Ami is just slightly better than you."

"2nd last is better than the dead last. Besides she's more influential. I only have Anko-chan and Ibiki-chan as friends."

"And those two are well known jounin."

"Ami is friends with the clan heirs."

The others watched interested as the two volleyed retorts.

"She's powerless as a kunoichi" Itachi spat, getting irritated as his points were getting overridden.

"Of course! She's only a genin!" Naruto rolled his eyes. He was getting tired of arguing over something as tedious as an engagement. He pulled on the Anbu's ponytail over the said man's shoulder, tugging the teen down so that their eyes met. "Marrying someone who loves you is better than marrying someone who doesn't" he hissed, eyes glowing and drawing the other's gaze in.

Itachi stared entranced at the lilac orbs, mind beginning to empty. _**'Pick Ami'**_a voice in his mind demanded. _'Ami? Why Ami?_' he questioned back, though he couldn't figure out for the life of him why he's not agreeing to what his mind chose. _**'Your heart beats for her. Are you to deny it so?'**_ his mind replied. _'My heart? She loves me...Do I love her? Why do I love her?'_ he was confused. Why was his mind telling him something that he doesn't have knowledge of? _**'She can love you unconditionally. It's all that you long for.'**_Itachi frowned even though he was still ensnared in the hypnotism. _'Ami...yes...she makes the perfect choice...'_ "I pick...Am" the Uchiha murmured, still in a daze.

The others leaned in to listen.

-POOF-

"Hiya, NaruNaru" a monkey summon greeted, appearing on Naruto's head. It peeked at the boy's eyes upside down from his perch and understood what is happening. "Ne, NaruNaru. Using hypnotism so often will kill your eyes" it placed its paws over the blond's eyes.

"Hypnotism?!" Minato looked shocked. "When has Naru-chan been able to do that?!"

"You little fucker!" Naruto snarled, pulling the summon off his head. "Saru! I was almost done!" the Namikaze heir shook the animal in his hands before glancing at his prey who was already shaking off his influence. _'He's already removing my presence from his mind? It's unusual...to be able to feel me so soon after I left.'_ He raised an eyebrow as Itachi's eyes regained their glow. "I'm going to set my kits after you" he threatened, turning back to the monkey who was snuggling into his arms.

"Kits?! What kits?!" the Namikaze patriarch was horrified.

"Don't kill the messenger!" Saru waved its arms in surrender. "I'm just here to tell you that Sarutobi-jiji called for you. Something about discussing the upcoming exam."

"Tell that old man to wait a little longer. I'll be there in five minutes" the red-streaked blond ordered.

"Nah, I'll wait here with you, NaruNaru" Saru chirped, falling asleep in the genin's arms.

"Hypnotism, Naruto-kun?" Itachi's eyes were glinting with amusement and a small smirk was on his lips.

The said boy shrugged. "This meeting was taking too long" he answered.

"It wouldn't have, if you just let me decide."

"And you would've chosen me because of your grudge. You said, and I quote _'If it means I can get back at you, I'll try my best to make sure the one I'm married to is __**you**__._' Now, if that's not resenting me, then I don't know what is."

Itachi looked slightly surprised.

"If you don't want me to use your words against you, you shouldn't have said them in the first place" a smug grin stretched across the blond's face.

"This...meeting was started by you" the raven retorted.

"Hardly. If you agreed to what I said, this would never happen."

"And if you never brought up the topic, we wouldn't be discussing this."

A snicker interrupted their debate. "You guys are already quarrelling like lovers" Anko chortled from the doorway.

"You are not helping, Anko-chan" Naruto pouted. "If I get married to him, you guys will have to share me with yet another person."

Ibiki smirked from behind the purple-haired kunoichi. "If that Uchiha knows what's good for him, he'll understand not to pick you - a psychotic brat who won't leave him alone."

"You know you love me" the Namikaze stuck out his tongue at the two.

While Naruto's focus is on the other two, Itachi took the time to slip an engagement ring on the blond's ring finger. _'You're not the only one who's willing to play dirty, Naruto-kun.'_

"Hey, what?" the ex-jinchuriki's head snapped back at the feeling of something heavy on his finger. He lifted up his left hand and spotted the ring. "I feel conspired against" he huffed, glaring at his two friends. "But I didn't think you had it in you, Itachi."

Everyone turned to watch the raven's reaction, but all they found was indifference.

"Well...I guess this meeting is adjourned" Mikoto pointed out after a moment of silence. "Welcome to the family, Naru-chan."

The said blond raised an eyebrow. "You're actually going with his decision?"

"Are you questioning my faith in my son?" the Uchiha matriarch scolded.

"Yes I am" Lilac orbs stared back defiantly. "Which is why you should choose Ami, ne? I'm selfish. I'm rude. I'm disrespectful. I'm vulgar. That should be enough for you to not like me, no?" His argument, however, was rendered invalid when they turned to find Minato trying to hold back a crazed Ami.

"NO! Itachi-sama's mine!" she screeched. "I'm going to kill you, Naruto! Give him back!"

"Well, aside from her uncivilized behavior and obsession over your older son, she would make a better spouse than me" Naruto tried to save himself despite speaking in a careless tone.

Sasuke nodded his head enthusiastically. He certainly didn't want the psycho to be his brother-in-law.

Fugaku cleared his throat, watching the scene Ami was making with disgust. "I fully support Itachi's choice. Welcome to the family, Naruto-kun."

"Kami-sama, you can't do this to me" Sasuke moaned. "Doushite (Why)?!"

Naruto's eyes sparkled at the whine and glomped the genin. "Looks like we'll be living together from now on, Sasu-chan" he chirped, squishing Saru and waking said animal up.

"No! Get away from me!" the younger Uchiha cried out, trying to push the younger boy off. "Aniki! Get your...your...wife off me!"

Itachi sighed and reached over to tug the blond into his lap, wondering if he made the correct choice in picking the ex-Kyuubi jailor.

"NaruNaru, Sarutobi called you a long time ago" Saru pointed out grumpily, annoyed at being squished awake. His announcement caused the three dimension-travelers to freeze.

"Shimatta (Damn it)!" they shouted, scrambling for the door.

* * *

"You guys are extremely late" the Sandaime raised an eyebrow. "Saru, I told you to get, Naruto."

"Gomen (Sorry)" the summon apologized. "He was discussing his engagement with the Uchihas so I let him have more time."

"Engagement?" the Third's eyes gained a perverted gleam.

"Iie (No). It's nothing" Naruto dismissed the topic, sitting himself on the bed.

"What do you mean it's nothing? I can clearly see the ring sparkling on your finger" Sarutobi took the boy's left hand and eyed the ring. "It's a platinum band adorned with three diamonds. They're pretty big too. It probably costs a lot."

"Che. It wasn't even a good proposal" Naruto rolled his eyes, taking his hand back. "I'll tell you guys why it's not a happy event later. I believe you called us to discuss the chunin exams."

"That's correct" the old man turned serious. "As you know, most of the major events have occurred according to our timeline. The next major event would be the Otogakure (Sound Country) invasion during the Chunin Exams. We have no idea if Sound is even created yet or if Orochimaru killed the Kazekage, but we have to be cautious since it's most likely going to happen. I'm going to need the three of you should he resurrect the Shodaime and Nidaime."

"Hmm...There's also the fact that I'm a one-man-team" the youngest occupant in the room hummed thoughtfully. "It would be unfair seeing how I outrank every single participant. How about I be a proctor for the exam? It's going to be odd seeing how I would have to know how the exam works, but should the invasion occur, my rank would most definitely be revealed, so that shouldn't be a problem."

"It's a good idea" Anko agreed. "We'll make this year's chunin exams a memorable one. I can imagine it already..." she trailed off with stars in her eyes. "Everyone would avoid the chunin exams for a while...years even...just because of us. We'd _**scar**_ those poor genins into remaining the _**pathetic**_ lot that they are."

The other two also drifted dreamily off, their own thoughts similar to the kunoichi's.

"Their villages would _**fear**_ us...as words from their genin's mouth would be nothing but _**terror**_" Ibiki murmured.

"And then the three of you will rule the world" Sarutobi interrupted their fantasy abruptly. "Okay, okay, I think I get it. I'll get Minato to make the three of you proctors. Now, we still have to prepare for the invasion. This village is too negligent; it will fall due to the unexpected attack."

"I think it's best if we brought Tsunade back and get her along with Jiraiya to watch the exams" the head interrogator suggested. "It's for safety purposes like you said."

The Sandaime nodded. "I suppose I'll be sending the three of you?"

The Anbu squad nodded. "We'll get Tsunade back easily. Jiraiya's a joke" they said eerily in synch, scaring the previous Hokage.

"You still have _**that**_ jutsu if you need to get to us" Anko pointed out.

Sarutobi sighed in relief. The fact that his personal Anbu could pull any plan out of their minds at anywhere at anytime was a comforting thought. "Now, Naruto, you have something to tell us?"

The blond sighed. "I tried to get Uchiha Itachi hitched. But he seems to have a vengeful side...and decided that if he's going to get married, he's gonna make sure it's me as payback. I had him hypnotized, then your summon _**had**_ to pop in and tell everyone what I was doing. I'm like an Uchiha magnet or something."

"Uchiha magnet?" Anko and Ibiki frowned. "Don't tell us Sasuke's after you too..."

The fake genin exhaled noisily. "No. It's not Sasuke. Itachi's not the first Uchiha I got engaged to." There was a pause before he continued. "I lied. I didn't create the **Senpou Seimon** (Dimension Portal) because I was bored back in our Konoha. Remember the three month mission I was on?"

"That undercover one where you had to figure out what the Akatsuki was going to do with all the bijuu they collected?" Sarutobi questioned before nodding along with the others when the preadolescent answered the affirmative.

"Apparently, I figured out that Uchiha Madara merely used the collection of bijuu to find me easier as I am the jinchuriki of the Kyuubi...or was anyways. He wasn't after world domination like Pein, the co-leader, wanted. Madara wanted control over Whirlpool. Uzugakure is a self-sufficient country ruled by a king and/or queen. Madara held a peculiar fascination over the king position...the idea of having more power over a country than a hokage would gave him some sort of pleasure I assume. But he also wanted the orihalcon ores found in the Uzu mines. Orihalcon is rare and expensive, but it's the most versatile material used for making weapons. The Uchiha also went after the heirloom, one of the most priceless artifacts in all of Fire Nation." Naruto showed them the bangles. "This heirloom was sought after during Madara's generation, but because no one saw it before, it just became a myth. During the three months, I've managed to deter him from looking for _**me**_...as in for the 'jinchuriki' and not 'Kazama Arashi' who I pretended to be. Maybe I was too good, cuz he actually decided that he'd bring me to whirlpool after he found the Kyuubi vessel who may be the heir to the throne. By then, my three months were up. Ami, who was looking for ways to best me, found me in the Akatsuki lair. Hidan and Kakuzu brought her in when they found out she was a Namikaze-Uzumaki child. She called out my name and Madara got angry at me for deceiving him. Luckily, I managed to hypnotize him into believing that Ami is the heir to the kingdom. He broke free of it after I got back to Konoha. Madara spent most of his time trying to use Ami to get the Kyouka Suigetsu (Mirror Water Flower Moon). He was willing to give Ami the position as queen should she be able to retrieve the heirloom. After a while, he must've given up on Ami because he came after me again. The ring he gave me when he promised to make me his queen is heating up...I think he's found a way here." He played with the silver band around the ring finger of his right hand before resting his forehead in his palms. "There's also with the problem with Itachi. That idiot just had to make things more complicated. Hell's gonna break loose when Madara finds out I'm engaged to another. Did I mention that Madara is possessive to the point of obsession?" he ended with a slight edge of hysteria in his tone.

"Whoa" Anko blinked. "That's like a twisted fairytale. But I guess you don't have to start worrying now. I mean, Madara's gonna need a few days to adjust to the changes and a week or more to figure out how to reach you."

"After the chunin exams, we'd gladly assist you in developing seals that can either bring us back or somehow save us from that immortal Uchiha" Ibiki added.

"Speaking of bringing us back...we didn't get to visit Tsunade..." Sarutobi pointed out.

"We don't even have the jutsu" the kunoichi snorted. "If things get worst, we'll just all gang up and beat him up. Together till the end, right?"

The Sandaime and Ibiki nodded, eyes softening when Naruto began tearing up. This was the first time they saw the boy look so lost.

"Heh. I'm here dragging - you guys to hell - and you're all just letting me" the Namikaze's voice cracked up as he joined the others in a group hug.

"We're the Psychotic Trio. Death is but the next great adventure for us" the interrogator smirked. "Crazy or not, we're the closest you can get for an unrelated family. A demented one, but a happy one. And that's all that matters."

* * *

_Uchiha Mansion (23:00)_

Itachi was wondering what has gotten into him to get himself into this mess. Finding himself actually being the one to decide the engagement was a little more than surprising. When the others left, Sasuke cornered him by himself and shook him by the collar, demanding why he had to pick the "psychotic" one and if he was a masochist to chose someone who would be bullying him for the pleasure of inflicting mental pain. Now that he's alone in the living room and had the chance to ponder on his decision, he couldn't find himself to disagree with his choice.

As an Uchiha bred into the shinobi profession, he was exceptionally sharp in dealing with emotions. He can't help but notice the slight apprehension in the lilac orbs of the younger Namikaze child every time the boy glanced at him. And Itachi knew that it wasn't because he outclassed the genin because there was no fear when he met Zabuza in Wave.

He stood up and opened the door when he heard a knock and found himself face to face with the person currently on his mind. "All of your stuff has been packed and moved to my room" Itachi informed, answering the unasked question. He moved aside and allowed the Namikaze to enter the house, closing the door behind the boy. "Did something happen?"

"Iie (No). Just tired" the blond murmured, plopping on the couch that his fiancé was sitting on just before.

Itachi stood by the entrance of the living room, black orbs roving over purple ones for any signs of emotions. He saw the boy's eyes flicker to him and caught the slight apprehension in them again as well as wistfulness...? "Naruto-kun" he called out, waving the boy over. The Uchiha watched as his soon-to-be spouse stand up and stopped in front of him. Itachi didn't say anything as his eyes bore into the other's. His face leaned in closer and saw a flash of fear flicker behind the lilac orbs. "Are you afraid of me?" he whispered, breath brushing against Naruto's lips.

"No."

And Itachi could tell that he wasn't lying. His arms wrapped around thin waist and pulled the blond nearer. Black orbs never left the lavender ones and the raven could see the trepidation and pensiveness vanish and replaced by resignation. "Is it that bad to be engaged to me?" he questioned. "Uchihas are bred to perfection you know. We should be the most desirable lot, yet you're here giving up on me already" Itachi made a subtle joke that he knew the ex-jinchuriki would latch on.

"Yea, perfect to the extent of narcissism, right?" Naruto drawled, a small smile on his face. "It just sucks to be stuck with an egoistic jerk" he pouted and sighed mentally in acquiescence. _'You look so much like __**him**__...I can't help but be slightly cautious around you. Heh. To think that I once fell for my captor and now for a kin slayer. I'm like bloody attracting the weirdoes.'_ He snapped out of his thoughts when a felt lips over his and he slowly closed his eyes in acceptance.

The kiss was sweet and gentle as if sealing an agreement that told them that they were willing to give this a try and that they'll manage this together. When they pulled away, Naruto rested his forehead on the chest of the older male, savoring the feeling of being held. _'I suppose I could give love a try again...This certainly was different from my previous relationship.'_

'_I could get used to this...'_

* * *

**A/N: **Wow...just wow. I think I outdid myself with this chapter. It's about 3000 words longer!

This chapter is just used to clarify some stuff and to tell what's happening with Madara. I also stole a phrase from Dumbledore (Harry Potter). xD. I wasn't planning on putting that fluff scene at the end...but then this wouldn't be an ItaNaru fic if there's no ItaNaru. So, I managed to fix this chapter so the fluff scene fits in. By the way, the engagement wasn't some random idea I decided to toss into the story...it adds to the drama, doesn't it? I hope you enjoyed!


	7. Chapter 7

**Title:** Of Wind and Fire

**Disclaimer: **Anything not mine is disclaimed.

**Author's note: **Hey, I'm back with a new chapter! Sorry about the last update (which wasn't a chapter). I was editing the information in the first chapter and I forgot about the "replace" button at the bottom of the editing page so I kinda deleted then reposted everything (so stupid of me). I also changed the chapter names back to default so I won't get them mixed up again. But here's an update, enjoy!

* * *

_**Chapter 7**_

* * *

Itachi is an early riser. That is a fact. His strict training regime starts at four a.m. in the morning and continues until seven when he would be called in for his missions. But for some reason, when he opened his eyes today, the digital clock on his drawer read 6:00AM. It was as if someone had endlessly pressed the snooze button on his internal clock and he felt his eyelids droop in attempt to return to that comfortable state of unconsciousness. A small breath escaped him in a stifled sigh of content as he inhaled the light scent of wild honeysuckle drifting from his bed partner.

Wait. Bed partner?

The Uchiha's eyes snapped open and found himself face to face with a sleeping blond who didn't seem to be alerted by the slight jolt from Itachi's...scare. The raven had his arms around Naruto, satisfied with bathing in the teen's body heat. He simply laid there in bed, watching the sleeping genin with a thoughtful look. Naruto looked so relaxed in sleep, so unaware that someone could just sneak in and kill him without him seeing who. He'll need to teach the blond how to fall into a meditative state that allows a shinobi to remain alert while resting the body. Onyx orbs mapped the contours of the boy's face as he thought of just how easy it would be for him to reach over and snap that fragile neck. Itachi's fingers twitched as he removed an arm from around Naruto's waist and reached for the throat, caressing the soft skin lightly before slowly clenching the digits. He wasn't going to kill the boy - no, definitely not when the blond's the only thing he could call his own without having to share with his brother. He just wanted to see how long it would take for Naruto to react. He wasn't disappointed.

_**Blam!**_

Seconds later, Itachi felt his hands bang against the headboard and held there by an iron-like grip while he was flipped onto his back with a knee between his legs and the other hand posed to jab his throat. He stared calmly back at the blank lilac orbs that were assessing him.

"You certainly have a _**unique**_ way of waking people up" Naruto murmured, removing his arms and sitting on his legs folded under him in-between the raven's legs. He had honed his danger senses to the point that even when he is dead asleep, it would warn him should harm come to him. Instead of just using instincts to guide him like all the shinobi who falls into the meditative state, he could detect a person's intent by their chakra flow due to a very light coating of chakra on his skin. Therefore should someone who isn't going to cause him harm approach him, he could continue his rest. With Itachi's stunt before, he didn't sense the danger but the fact that the man was curious at how he would react to getting strangled in his sleep irritated him. Getting choked by his fiancé the day after he was proposed to wasn't his cup of tea no matter the purpose and he voiced it out loud. "If you're just gonna murder your partner in sleep the next day after proposing, why bother offering your hand in the first place? I hope you don't have a sick fetish for killing your bed partners."

Itachi sat up, using his hands to hold his body up. "It wasn't my intention to throttle you. I was merely testing your reaction speed."

Naruto just stared at him as if silently demanding him to continue.

"The chunin exam is in two weeks. It's best if you learn to react fast to danger."

The genin tilted his head to the side in contemplation. "Are you offering what I think you're offering?"

The Uchiha nodded. "I'm willing to forego training my team to help you."

"How sweet" the blond cooed, "I doubt Ami and Sasuke will like that though. Besides, I have missions stacked up for these two weeks."

A perfectly arched eyebrow rose. "Sandaime-sama specifically removed all the genin teams that are attending the chunin exam off the active missions list."

Naruto shrugged. "The missions were given a while back. I won't be in the village for a week."

"C-rank mission?" Itachi questioned, sliding out of bed.

"Yup. I think I should get ready. I'll be leaving soon."

"Sou ka (I see). I won't hold you up then."

A laugh escaped the blond as he walked into the bathroom. "What happened to the 'Get home soon'?" He teased, closing the door behind him.

Itachi merely shook his head in amusement.

* * *

Naruto met up with Anko and Ibiki at their usual hangout for breakfast. They hung out in the back corner where people usually avoided and the usual servings of onigiri and tea was ordered as they discussed their mission.

"tho' (so) we harv (have) two weeks to get 'unade (Tsunade) back and Jiraiya to agwee (agree) to sooberbize (supervise) the exam" Anko informed through a mouthful of onigiri.

The youngest of the three took a sip of his tea before commenting. "Not really. I want a week to stack up on my seals."

"You mean the improved exploding tags?"

"They work really well on sand" the blond answered with a smirk.

"That's only one part of the problem" Ibiki added. "The three-headed snakes that were summoned at the west gate managed to destroy that section."

"Oh. Yeah. Sure. Let's just decorate the entire village with barrier seals cuz that'll make everything _**so much**_ easier" Naruto drawled amused.

The three fell silent for a moment before they all shared a look of epiphany.

"That's a pretty good idea" the kunoichi hummed thoughtfully. "We just have to hide them somehow and figure a way to allow all the participants regardless of intent."

"We're going to allow the intruders in?" Ibiki frowned. "It would be less work if we just prevent them from entering at all."

"It would be suspicious of they were entered into the exam but aren't allowed entrance" the blond responded. "You guys are discussing this as if I am able to whip up a seal that could surround the village in _**one week**_. Even if it's just the repetition of the same seals, it needs something in the middle to anchor all of them or else they'll just work separately."

"Well...maybe you could make the village protected by one seal?" Anko suggested.

The other two sweatdropped.

"It would be less work for me but how are we going to hide a seal that goes through the entire place _and_ also get me to draw it without anyone noticing?" Naruto raised an eyebrow before sighing. "We can just leave the protection of the village to the other ninjas. We have our hands full anyways."

Ibiki and Anko dropped the subject, brushing off the job to the others easily.

"Now, I'm requesting one week for seal making. That gives us one week to finish our mission" the Namikaze stated. "I'd say we get Jiraiya first then get him to help us with Tsunade. I'm sure he will know where she is. He's a good informant if not anything else."

"What are the chances of Jiraiya being out of the village?" the head interrogator asked rhetorically.

"Shouldn't matter. We can just ask the Yondaime" the purple haired lady shrugged.

The blond nodded in agreement. "Well? Let's go."

* * *

Luckily for the Psychotic Trio, Jiraiya was in the village and Minato, trying to help them the best that he could, got the Anbu to call him into the office.

"What is the meaning of this?" the sannin growled, a tic forming on his forehead. "You dragged me out of my research to go look for the hime (princess)? And what happened to you, Naruto?"

"You have enough time to spare if you can question about my appearance" the ex-jinchuriki smirked. "Besides, we're not exactly dragging you to come with us. Don't twist my words. I'm merely asking you where she is located. But you're welcome to follow of course."

Jiraiya's jaw dropped. "W-wha, huh?"

"How articulate of you. Now if you don't mind. I would like to get a move on. Where is she?"

A glare appeared on the older man's features. "I'll go with you. Can't trust you not to get lost."

"Lost? There's no such thing as getting lost when we're searching for someone whose position you're unwilling to indispose. Why not save the trouble of walking when you can just tell us the location?"

"What happened to the brat that looked up to me?" anger tainted the tone of the white-haired male.

A snort came from the genin. "What happened to being a godfather? I was like this for a while and you have yet to see me until today." Naruto turned to the Hokage. "You should strip him of his status, father."

"Jiraiya, just bring them to Tsunade or tell them where she is" Minato sighed.

The Gama-sannin grumbled but resigned to his duty. "Fine."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Jiraiya was not pleased. He had willingly arrived at the Hokage Tower and was teasing when he demanded why his time was being taken up. He didn't expect a biting retort to be returned - from his godson no less. Perhaps he had been minding his own business for far too long. He couldn't recognize Naruto - the one that was in the room was nothing short of cruel and unpleasant. Anger rushed through his veins when the brat carelessly insulted him for the third time in less than five minutes and he mentally added 'sadistic' to the list of characteristics that would describe the blond. The unnerving lilac eyes were sharp and glittering with delight at his apparent irritation. Deciding that it would be pointless of him to continue an argument that he had a feeling he would no doubt lose, he settled with following the group. "Hime is most likely in Jiyuukake - a small village in Raigakure (Lightning Country)." He told them the site as they walked out of the Hokage tower.

Ibiki snickered in amusement. "Jiyuukake. How fitting for a place she would be in."

"Yeah. The name literally translates to 'freedom gambling'. Must be a haven for Tsunade" Anko grinned. "Not to mention, Raigakure isn't one of the more hostile villages. It'll be easy for her to enter."

"It'll take us about five days in a full sprint" Jiraiya added. "We should start."

"Five days? We only have seven days round trip to spare" Naruto pursed his lips. "We can make it in three. I hope you can keep up, Jiraiya. I have several packs of soldier pills on me if you need any."

The Sanin snorted. "Don't bluff. I won't be the one to carry you if you fall behind."

The blond didn't seem at all miffed at the retort. "Very well, then. I hope you have a back up. Wouldn't want you to burn off all your blubber and have your girls run away. Let's go, Ibiki, Anko."

The two nodded, dropping their pant legs to hide the chakra conversion seals placed on their legs. The seal converts their chakra into wind chakra, allowing them a faster boost without wasting so much chakra.

Jiraiya stood frozen in surprise when the boy flickered and appeared in the distance as a small silhouette. The other two were following just slightly behind. Naruto didn't seem to be using chakra where as the other two were using minimal bursts. _'That brat wasn't bluffing...crap, now I have to catch up.'_

* * *

Tsunade was in paradise. Jiyuukake was a village dedicated to gambling and entertainment. Casinos, bars, brothels, and hotels lined the streets. It was even better that the place is completely legal. Or as legal as it appeared on the outside. They allowed anyone with money to gamble and the medic nin could see that several of the people around the blackjack table were under the required age of 21 despite their looks. She sipped her sake as she glanced around for a game to play when she caught sight of three Konoha nins at the poker table. The youngest of the three, who was definitely under the legal gambling age, had a mountain of chips. The other two who sat near him were fairing pretty well too as opposed to the other two players who had a few smaller stacks.

"Pair o' six" a buff looking man grumbled, tossing his cards down.

The man next to him had folded.

"House of eights over threes" the man who the slug sannin recognized as the head interrogator called out, dropping his cards.

The kunoichi who Tsunade recognized as Anko huffed before dropping down her cards. "Pair queen and an ace."

"Four jacks" the younger one smirked. "Lady Luck loves me more."

"Cheater!" the one who had the sixes snarled, standing up.

"Cheat? Why would I need to cheat?" the child intoned, eyes half-lidded in boredom.

"You were at a stand still for the first four games! How is it possible for you to start winning every round after?!"

Anko and Ibiki snickered while the other ninja, who was blond, rested his head on his arms.

"I shouldn't be giving away my trick, but then again, there's no way you could do what I can, so I guess I can tell you" the blond drawled. "The first few rounds were to watch your reactions. You guys are so pathetically easy to read."

"What?"

"Oh? You don't think I noticed that your corrugator supercilii muscles twitch whenever you're thinking about folding or bluffing?"

"My what?"

"Uugh. The muscles at the medial end of the eyebrows. They're also known as the 'frowning muscles'. Those ends twitch when you're holding back a frown. It could be that it's itching...but it's coincidental that every time you fold or hesitate, it tics. Besides, it's not like you understand. I'm here to play, not to teach you science..."

The two non-konohanians didn't seem to care, growling as they slammed their seats into the table.

"I do not care" the buff man roared. "I will not lose to a child!"

"But you already did...nine games in a row" the blond pointed out.

The two sore losers cracked their knuckles as they slowly stalked closer to the three shinobi.

"Why must you bring trouble with you everywhere, Naruto?!" an extremely familiar voice groaned as he stepped into the casino.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow at her old teammate. "What are you doing here? And why is my godson with you?" she demanded, standing up from her seat.

"Oh, there you are" Naruto chirped, getting up from his seat and collecting his chips in a bag. "Took you forever to get here."

"Forever?!" Jiraiya scowled. "I got here three hours after you did!"

"And we started at the same time" the preadolescent stuck out his tongue before skipping over to trade in his winnings. "Besides, we found her. Maybe you can make yourself useful and do something."

The frog sannin held back a sneer as he walked over to the medic. "You should've never left Konoha. My hair's turning white because of him..."

"Your hair was naturally white. What are you talking about Jiraiya?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow.

"Then he's making me lose brain cells. Hime, he's _changed_."

"I can see...So what do you want with me?"

"Come back to Konoha for a few months..." the hermit answered bluntly. He wasn't in the mood to play around. He was tired and irritated both from having to rush to Jiyuukake and from having to deal with the temperamental brat.

Hazel eyes narrowed. "No."

"It's only for the chunin exams. Sarutobi's paranoid that it's a good chance for an invasion. The fact that Iwa is participating even though they're still holding a grudge and that a new village called Sound is entering is making him jumpy."

"Woot!" Naruto exclaimed, popping up near them. "85,000 yen ($850 USD) from that one sitting. People just don't believe that I'm blessed."

"Che. With your personality, I can see why" the boy's godfather retorted.

The disguised genin eyed Jiraiya curiously. "And to think you had lost your bark...too bad you still can't bite."

"Stop provoking him, Naru-chan" Anko flicked her finger at the side of her youngest teammate's head before resting her arm over his shoulder. "If we get back now, you'll get an extra day to do whatever you want."

Ibiki appeared on the other side of Naruto, also slinging his arm over the boy's shoulder. "And we can get back by dawn of the third day" he added.

"You guys seem so positive that I'll be going with you" Tsunade cut in.

"Of course. The pervert already told you the reason and what better motive than the protection of your village?" Anko shrugged.

"Maybe the fact that I don't want to have anything to do with Konoha?"

"Even if it might be invaded?" Ibiki asked this time.

"I don't care" the slug sannin gritted her teeth.

Jiraiya swallowed hard when he saw the vindictive glint in the lilac orbs. Tsunade had stepped into their trap and it was too late for her to pull out. He didn't dare interrupt, fearing that he would become their target. He was still sore from the biting words in the Hokage Tower. _'Sorry, Tsunade. You're gonna have to help yourself out of this'_ he apologized mentally.

"Is that so? _His_ body's there you know. Buried in the Heroes' Cemetery" Naruto began. A malicious grin pulled at his lips - though he tried to keep his face uncaring - at the lady's flinch. "That graveyard's on the west side you know...and the West is the easiest part to enter through for an invasion. They even have a road running to the port. The river is only a two hour walk with forests along the sides. Imagine that the invasion occurs from that direction...The most strategic move would be to send the stronger shinobi and summons through the West. To get them into the village faster, no? Gravestones are easy to rebuild...but what about the dug up dirt from the trudging of summons? Would there even be a body to bury again anymore?"

"Yamete! Stop...stop..." the medical genius interrupted, holding her head in anguish. "Dan..."

"Tsunade-sama..." Shizune murmured, watching sadly as her mentor broke down. The boy didn't even seem remorseful. In fact, he seemed satisfied. She wanted to snap at the boy, but her intervention would probably give him fuel for his manipulations.

"I didn't finish yet" Naruto continued softly. "There's another one. The Konoha Cemetery is not that far from the West gate either. A little to the north, but only a twenty minute jog away - fifteen if you ran slowly. But invaders don't have that much time to spare...they'll reach it in give or take five minutes. He just turned twelve when he was buried, ne? What about him? Kare mo wasureta mo ka (Did you forget him too)?"

"Nawaki" Tsunade whimpered in distress.

"Are you just going to leave them there? You've already left them once..."

"I'll go back..."

"I knew you'd understand" the psychotic blond whispered mockingly. "Things always go my way."

* * *

**A/N:** Ouch, got a little mean at the end. I'm like dragging the time before the chunin exams longer and longer...I did not intend it that way, but I thought I'd cut it off here for this chapter. The chunin exams shouldn't be that far off...either the next chapter or the one after. Thanks for those who waited....even with the false update. I hope you guys like this chapter.


	8. Dear Readers

To all my readers,

Okay, so all of you are probably thinking "oh it's been THREE years, she FINALLY updated!"... I'm sorry to say that this is not an update but a dreaded Author's note. I have no excuse for being MIA for so long without leaving any notification of whether my stories will progress or not. To continue on this note, no new chapters of Of Wind and Fire will be posted. The plot was non-existant and I have no idea how to continue the story. Truthfully, I lost interest in this fandom. But I'm looking back at my stories and I'm wondering why I even uploaded them. For OWaF, I enjoyed the humor but the plot itself was heading nowhere. It was simply taking the original Naruto plot line and inserting a sarcastic protagonist (or should it be antagonist? haha) in place. However, the seven chapters will remain posted.

Now onto the semi-good news. I am taking the main idea of OWaF and reworking it. The prologue of the rewrite, Home, should be posted shortly after this. Certain things will be kept, others will be left out to match the new story. I must say that while I love the psychotic trio, I couldn't keep their personality. I need them to be a little more serious, Naruto a little more angsty (not the Sasuke brand), and maybe include a little more non-verbal action. I can say for sure that the main pairing will be ItaNaru (my OTP for this fandom).

Once again, a reminder: I am a terrible updater. This is because I tend to lose focus really quick. I have tried writing a complete outline for a short chaptered fic before. I never got to writing it... at all. Which is why I just write as the ideas flow. There is also the fact that Naruto no longer holds my interest. What I do have, however, is time. So hopefully my imagination will be enough to continue the story. I really don't want to leave OWaF the way it is. That's my main motivation for not abandoning the story. Wish me luck!

Anyway, sorry again for this very late notice regarding the discontinuation of OWaF. But I do hope you guys will enjoy the rewrite. My other stories will be on hold for now... they might be pending revision as well. But as of now, only OWaF is being rewritten and worked on.

Thanks to all my readers, reviewers, followers and favorite-ers (lol!). For all those who reviewed this story. I have read (and reread) your comments. While I have not replied to any, I appreciated the feedback. Hope I won't disappoint with the new fic!

With lots of love,

taintedxwings

P.S. If you have any concerns with this fic, please don't review this story. PM me instead.

P.P.S. Due to this website's policy on having chapters that are non-story content, I will probably be removing this in a few weeks... (Policy implemented in 2008... Does anyone know how long I can keep this note up?)


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